


It's my fault

by Raawr23



Series: Keep Going... [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon Relationships - Freeform, Depressed Stiles, F/M, Family Feels, Flashbacks, Gen, Guilt, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pack Bonding, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Stiles Feels, Suicidal Thoughts, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-16 08:14:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/859908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raawr23/pseuds/Raawr23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Alphas made a threat, to hurt one of their own. Following Derek is the last thing everyone expected...but how do can they recover? Losing someone can leave anyone broken...left with out an anchor. How can Stiles survive the guilt knowing it was all his fault? It's always been his fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this idea has been running through my head for a while now so I had to just write. It's my first story but if I don't post it up somewhere it's going to bug me.

 

The rain was pouring hard against the glass windows of the loft. There was no doubt in everyone's mind that tonight was going to be different from other nights. It was almost ominous, whether anyone wanted to recognize it or not...it was inevitable. Stiles stood by the window wall watching as everyone gather around Derek's makeshift desk running through the plan one last time.

Scott was standing by the alpha, almost mirroring as his second in command as the discussed the confrontation waiting to happen. He still considered himself separate from Derek's pack but when the things got to the point where he was in over his head, Scott always managed to go back to Derek and work with the man.

Isaac was beside Cora, attentively listening to instructions. Even though there was an obvious strain going on between both betas and there alpha, they stood by him no matter what, especial now that they couldn't afford anymore casualty.

Boyd stood close to the betas but he was still reserved and Stiles didn't blame him. He lost his only friend, according to Boyd himself, and he felt alone yet again. Stiles could relate to the feeling but he also hoped the beta understood now that he wasn't truly alone.

Standing in the opposite direction of the three betas were the other two humans that made up this odd pack. Allison was standing beside Lydia, her face stoic as she would look at the alpha. Everyone knew that the tension had not decimated between the two. Granted Allison had finally found out about her mother's reason of suicide, but it did not mean that she had forgiven Derek and he didn't forgive her for attacking his pack along side her psychotic grandfather.

They were in an impasse.

As frustrating as it was, the fact that they were able to push past their problems was progress and working together was even better. Lydia was rather quiet, well quiet for Lydia anyways. She had her lips pursed as she listened calculating things in her mind, bringing up possible problems that both Derek and Scott might have missed. She had finally dropped her façade of being an ignorant little girl and starting showing the pack how smart she truly was. She was still reserved around them with good reason since the pack still consisted of Peter Hale, the reason to her downward spiral of a mental breakdown last year.

Speaking of the undead man, Stiles turned his body to face the the group and let his eyes wander over beyond the group that was situated around the desk. He looked toward the wall where the blue couch was was located and saw the older man seated, looking at the group but he was smart to keep his distance. Ever since he was brought back from the dead, he wasn't normal...well as normal as Peter could be if Stiles was being honest. There was still a lot of animosity between Peter and the entire pack.

Trust with the older Hale would be nearly impossible but his knowledge was what played a major role in this whole thing. There was only so much research Stiles himself could do, so bringing Peter into the folds was the best idea Stiles had...even though others would disagreed. This time around though, Peter had been quiet, not sassing or even questioning his nephew's plans against the alphas.

Stiles walked closer to the group now, standing beside Derek, flanking the man on his right side. He skimmed the plans of the hospital, seeing red circles marking entrances, exits and possible vantage points for Allison and other pack members to enter. The threat was against Scott's mom, Deucalion had promised Scott that his interference would be paid by the death of someone dear to them.

At first Stiles assumed it would be one of them in particular, as in a pack member but both Aiden and Ethan had the opportunity to kill one of them a while ago. Instead it had been quiet...eerily quiet and that didn't settle with Stiles.

He plunged head first into research, trying to see if in fact there was a sacred day or ritual that the alphas were waiting for but he found none. Either way Derek hadn't taken the threat lightly and enforced that pack members were paired in twos and also started doing surveillance to the humans incorporated in the pack and close friends as well.

Stiles felt his gut tighten at that, if only he would have been able to protect Heather that night...if he didn't go upstairs to get that stupid condom...maybe if she would've gone instead, but then maybe...he'd be dead. Maybe being dead wouldn't be as helpful as he thought but the guilt kept eating at him. It was his fault, maybe if he had been more prepared that night, then he wouldn't have left her and she would still be alive. Or maybe he would've put her in more danger.

He rubs a hand over his face, he feels exhausted, he hadn't been sleeping well in days. If he was honest with himself it had been weeks since he had a decent night of sleep but how could he sleep when the alphas were roaming around town killing people. His eyes flicker over to the couch again.

Sitting beside Peter was Ms. Blake, or Jennifer as she told them when they were outside of school. She had gotten sucked into this whole mess as well since the moment Boyd and Cora were on a murderous rampage that full moon. She had taken to the supernatural world rather calming, more calming than Stiles and the others had expected.

Her excuse was therapy hadn't helped her thus far so what was one more thing in her life that didn't seem like therapy would help solve. Stiles liked Ms. Blake, no matter how much she insisted to call her Jennifer outside of school so she didn't want to feel so old he couldn't, but it still caused some unsettling motion in his stomach.

The back of his throat tasted bitter more often than not when she was around. Granted her presence had basically soften Derek, and saying Derek was soft was not what he wanted to say but it was the best way he could describe the man.

He was no longer all scowls and eyebrows...ok he still was but the scowls were limited and instead of going on with half assed ideas, he actually formulated and took the time to listen to the others opinions when making plans. Ms. Blake came out of nowhere and practically shed Derek's whole lone wolf personality almost instantly. Stiles had worked hard to get that man to crack a genuine smile, he spent months over the summer and he thought he made progress but he realized he hadn't, Derek had only tolerated him.

So maybe Stiles was bitter that his English teacher came in and basically did what took Stiles four months to do and did it in under a few weeks. So maybe he was jealous that she was accepted into the pack much quicker than he had...then again he was still not considered pack, if anything he was in Scott's pack not Derek's.

He really hated being this petty and jealous over the alpha. Maybe if he just admitted to himself...nope he would stick to denial, he would forget his thoughts and focus on the task at hand.

He felt Derek's eyes shift to look at him from the corner of his eyes as Scott rambled on about something. The alpha must have sensed his mood change or something, he really hated how the werewolves were able to pick up on this shit.

He drummed his fingers against the table as he looked at Ms. Blake, she was beyond nervous. That was expected, Stiles was nervous, they all were. The only reason she was really here was because of Derek. Stiles didn't know what the two were honestly, yes he had seen the two together a couple of times at school, and a couple of more times here in the loft but they didn't have a label.

It obviously had to be something serious if she brought into this world...or maybe Derek didn't know what he wanted. Whatever it wasn't Stiles love life...that thought had him gnawing on his bottom lip.

 _Now is not the time._ He reminded himself, going back to the plan.

He looked up to meet Derek's gaze and quickly dropping it. He felt his heart beat thump slightly faster and he hoped to all that was above that everyone would assume was the nerves that caused his heart to thump faster and not the alpha.

Stiles looked around and no one seemed to have noticed a thing...maybe except Derek but he wouldn't say anything.

"Derek, you have anything else to add?" Scott asked and all eyes were on the alpha. Derek had his normal scowl on his face but it could easily be him thinking.

Slowly, Stiles felt both Peter and Ms. Blake walk up to the table, no one flinched when Peter stood between Lydia and Ms. Blake. Stiles had to give it to Lydia for keeping her cool, but if he had werewolf ears he would probably hear Lydia's heartbeat going off the charts.

"No, we do as we planned." Derek finally answered in his low voice, granted it wasn't always that low.

"We go in pairs, Scott and Cora you'll go through the front, Isaac and Boyd go through the back, Allison you'll drop Lydia off with Danny and meet up with your father and both of you will stand guard from the roof," he pointed to one of the vantage points, knowing the archer could hit the target.

"And Peter you're with me, we'll check the woods nearby, hopefully we find them before the enter the hospital." Everyone nodded agreeing with the alpha.

"Won't it be harder to track there movements with the rain?" Boyd asked. That was true, the water would make picking up a scent rather difficult but not impossible.

Derek shook his head, "if we focus on our heightened senses we'll be fine." He glanced around again, "anymore questions?" Everyone shook their head no.

"Wait, what am I suppose to do?" Stiles asked as he glanced at the alpha, confusion playing on his features.

"You'll be staying here with Jennifer." He stated as he motioned everyone to move out with his head.

"Wait! What?" He spun around flailing his arms a bit, "I was the one who thought of this whole plan," that was true, "I should be out there!" He practically shouted as Cora, Isaac and Boyd marched out with Peter in tow.

"Buddy, it's better if you stay here ok," Scott placed his hand on Stiles' shoulder, "we can't put you in danger." He continued but Stiles shook the boy's hand off.

"No Scott, I should be out there with you guys...as a pack." He insisted.

"And do what Stiles?" Lydia demanded, "no offense to you but your not a wolf and you aren't a train hunter. It's better if us _humans_ stay out of their way." She had her arms crossed as she looked at Stiles with a stern look as if her word was final.

Stiles opened his mouth to protest but was cut off before he even started.

"She's right, it's better if you were here." Derek stated as he stood beside Scott. He patted the boy's back and Scott gave stiles one last imploring look.

"Stiles, please stay here ok. Trust us." Stiles sighed as he nodded, licking his lips and looking away from his best friend. Leave it to Scott to throw that look at him.

"I'll call you ok?" Lydia assured him as she left with Scott and Allison leaving Stiles alone with the couple.

Stiles moved to face the window again looking up at the moon, trying so hard not to hear the couple as they said their goodbyes. The keyword was _try_ but everything echoed in the loft.

"You'll be safe right? You won't do anything reckless." Ms. Blake asked as she gripped Derek's hands in hers.

"I can't promise that, if my pack is in danger I have to protect them." He told her in a soft voice.

Stiles closed his eyes trying to focus on the rain, anything but them.

"At least promise you'll come back?" She pleaded, the with me part wasn't said but Stiles new she implied it.

"Stiles." Derek called out and slowly the boy turned half his body to look at the man. He was hugging Ms. Blake close to him. It really wasn't a pretty sight to see but he'd endure it, like he had these past couple of months.

"Stay here." He ordered and Stiles gave him a tight jerk of a nod looking away.

He knew his face was probably irritated at this point almost livid that he had to stay behind with his teacher hoping to hear from the pack to tell him that they had won. He heard the loft door slam shut and Stiles quickly turned to see the alpha gone leaving him and Ms. Blake alone.

She slowly turned to face Stiles, giving him a small meek smile, her eyes slightly watery. Stiles tried to give her a reassuring smile but he couldn't. There was no reassurance that they would all come out alive, someone was going to die.

Whether it was one of theirs or from the alpha pack there would be someone dying tonight.

 

Derek drove down the sleek road with Allison's car behind. If he admitted to himself, he was nervous go to the hospital. This plan had to work, they couldn't let another innocent person, this person being Mrs. McCall. Peter sat beside him on the passenger seat while Cora, Boyd and Isaac sat in the back.

Scott was with Allison and Lydia in the other car but they would be stopping soon in order to drop her off with that Danny boy. The only reason the boy was involved was because he was smart enough to date one of the alpha twins. Whether Ethan truly cared about the boy or not was not a chance he was willing to take.

Stiles had already sealed the boy's home with mountain ash so they would be safe and the loft was secure enough as well. Deaton had placed a rune preventing any werewolf to enter the place if they had ill motives. He couldn't protect everyone in town, as much as Scott wanted, he could only protect those close to them.

He already lost Erica, he couldn't lose another of his betas again.

"You need to stay calm nephew, you can't hesitate with them again." Peter reminded him as he stayed focused on the road.

Derek tightened his grip on the wheel, "I know Peter, but I can't help but think of what might happen if this goes wrong."

"It won't Der, we have to believe it'll work." Cora whispered as she leaned forward a bit, meeting his eyes through the rear view mirror.

"Stiles believes we can do this...he explained exactly what to do to ensure that we take the pack down." Isaac reminded him, but avoided his alpha's gaze.

He still hadn't forgiven him on how he handled kicking the blonde boy out.

In fact Derek didn't even forgive himself for acting exactly how the boy's father had when he abused him. It was an asshole move, as Stiles dubbed it.

"The question is, once we have the alpha down who's going to kill him?" Derek asked as all eyes shifted to Peter.

Peter rolled his eyes, "believe it or not, I don't want to be an alpha anymore, the kill is yours dear nephew...unless another steps in." He twisted his head a bit to look at Boyd. A small growl escaped the boy.

That was another worry for Derek, having Boyd kill an alpha and them becoming an alpha. Erica's death hit him the hardest, he was with her in her last moments so the boy sought revenge. It had taken weeks to get Boyd to come back to the pack but his bond wasn't stable.

In fact Derek could feel the bonds of his beta teetering. His weakest was with Peter but that was obvious, his uncle didn't see him as his alpha but he wouldn't abandon him. Scott was weak too which was why those two struggled to agree on anything. If it was just him and Scott nothing would get done, that's why Stiles was the voice of reason.

Though he'd never tell the boy that.

Boyd's bond to him was slightly stronger but he didn't trust Derek and the same was said from Isaac. Those two would only follow orders if they knew Scott agreed with him but on his own they would question his every move.

Cora's bond was strong but that was out of loyalty to their family. He hated knowing his own sister didn't trust him and didn't see him as a strong alpha. He was a disappointment and she made sure he knew it.

Maybe he should have gone with the alpha pack, left the betas with Scott, but that wasn't what Deucalion wanted, he wanted Derek to kill his entire pack. No, he couldn't do that...besides he doubted they'd stay dead since his uncle didn't.

"I want revenge for Erica...but Stiles brought up a good point...I can't control my wolf and becoming an alpha isn't an option for me." He turned to gave out the window, "I don't want that power." He whispered in a low voice.

He saw Cora reach over to grip one on Boyd's hands, squeezing it tightly. Those two had spent almost four months together looked up in that vault months ago.

"Alright then." Derek hit the gas pedal harder trying to go faster even through this rain, "get them down and let me finish the job." He concluded, hoping he could kill the alphas before they got to him.

No one said anything after, they stayed silent watching ahead but listen outside for any sudden movements. Allison's car vanished from view for the moment, she was off dropping the red headed girl off, _strawberry_ _blonde_ Derek heard a voice in the back of his mind say.

That voice vaguely sounded like Stiles.

Stiles was the only one he felt was loyal to him and the boy wasn't a wolf. He had proven himself over the summer, lying to Scott about his involvement and knowledge of the alpha pack. He had gotten closer to the spastic teen and grew a tolerance as well.

Before if Stiles would have question his decision, Derek resorted to using excessive physical force but he learned that Stiles didn't do it to irritate him. No, he did it to make Derek see things through.

He had been living the world like Scott, only black and white when truth was the world was in shades of gray. There were alternatives and other solutions that could be used to defeat the pack and up until now he had been working on his own.

That was his first mistake.

Truth was Stiles interfering and insisting he be apart of the pack meetings and plans had heed him be more understanding of his pack. He can even admit he grew to care for the boy, but he was still closed off.

He couldn't be open with anyone, he didn't trust and that was his problem. How could he trust anyone after being stabbed in the back multiple times.

First was Kate, then Peter, Scott, Isaac, Boyd all of them had stabbed him in the back at one point...except Stiles. Derek felt his chest tighten a bit. The boy hadn't betrayed him as of yet...but he could...but deep down Derek knew Stiles wouldn't.

He had many opportunities and he hadn't...but he still could. But he trusted the boy with Jennifer...Jen, now that was a whole other story.

He had no intentions in involving the teacher, she just really happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He had only planned to check on the woman, not build a relationship...that's what it was wasn't it? He was in a relationship with Jen?

They have spent a lot of time together, and no one seemed to be bothered by the woman's presence in his life.

That was a lie, Stiles was off since she came in. He put distance between Derek and himself, reducing many meetings to be conducted through the phone.

At the time there were sacrifices going on but once that had stopped, Derek figured Stiles would start coming over to the loft more often but he hadn't. The times he had, Jen would be with him and Stiles would come in during moments of intimacy.

Derek really had really let his guard down with Jen, hugging the woman, holding her hand, leaning on her...kissing her. When had that happened? Whenever Stiles saw the affection Derek could feel Stiles mood change instantly.

Derek wasn't ignorant, as much as he played he was. Stiles had a crush on him...or at least he thought he did unless it was directed to Jen. But he knew Stiles had to feel something for one or the other which would explain the sudden spikes and drops of his emotions.

If Derek was honest with himself he knew the feelings were directed toward him but he knew that Stiles didn't know what he wanted. He was only 17, and he didn't want someone as broken as he was...the fact that Jen did caused Derek some discomfort.

But the unrequited crush was mutual as much as Derek denied it. Stiles had grown on the alpha, but he knew better than to go after an underaged boy...he wasn't even sure of the boy's sexual preference.

Derek shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts away. Now was not the time nor place. Besides Stiles' father was the sheriff of the town, he really didn't want to get arrested...again.

Right now he had to get his head in the game, no more distractions. Stiles was a distraction and right now he couldn't afford to lose the goals of tonight.

 

Scott tapped his finger up against his thigh as he skimmed the trees as they blurred past them. Lydia was safe with Danny, she promised she would call Stiles immediately to let him know phase one was complete and they were now executing phase two.

If someone would have told Scott he would be in an alliance with Derek Hale a year ago he would have laughed at their face. Granted he hated being a werewolf more than anything but now he knew he was stuck as one, there wasn't a cure and he had deluded himself in believing there was one.

Okay it wasn't a delusion but hope, he needed the hope but now he resigned himself to being a wolf.

"Scott, how can you be sure this will work?" Allison asked as she continued driving through the rain.

"I...uhh...I don't..." He stutter and slumped in his seat a bit. "Stiles said it should work and I trust him."

"But he trusts Derek, Scott. What if this doesn't work ok? What if we go into a trap? What if they kill us then what Scott?" She ranted as he breathing came in harsher.

"Allison..."

"What if you die Scott? What am I suppose to do then? I know we broke up ok...but that doesn't mean I stopped loving you ok. What if my dad dies Scott I'd be alone, I'd have no one left. What if Isaac or Boyd die..." She gasped as tears trickled down her checks.

Scott sat up, bring his hand to brush away the tears from her face. The brave face she would put in pack meetings was a lie, she wasn't as emotionless as people thought. She cared too much whether she admitted it or if others saw that vulnerability.

"Everything will be ok...I don't know what might happen tonight but we have to stay strong we can't break this. Stiles hasn't been wrong ok...he's right when it comes with the pack, we're stronger in numbers...Derek's stronger." She reminds the girl.

She nods and sniffles a bit.

"You're saying to trust Derek?" Her voice carried a little bit of disbelief, and he understood why.

He grabbed her hand running he thump over the back of her hand.

"I'm asking you to trust Stiles' judgment in trusting Derek. He's the only alpha here Allison...and I don't know about you but I don't want that power and neither does Isaac."

"What about Peter and Cora? What about Boyd?" She quickly added.

Scott thought for a moment, trying to remember what Stiles had said about the betas.

"Boyd doesn't want it either...it won't bring Erica back. Cora doesn't want it either...she wants to rebuild her family again which is why she will stick with Derek. Peter..." He had nothing on that man.

He was the reason he was in the situation to begin with.

"Derek will handle Peter." He tried to reassure.

Allison nodded but didn't bother to look at Scott, he knew she wasn't completely sold on the plan but they had to do something. His mom was in danger, if that dream was anything to take as a possible future...he couldn't bear it.

Deucalion slit his mom's throat, as a warning of what was to come if they didn't follow his plans. Ennis and Kali both had been in the hospital undetected, posing as nurses when Isaac was brought in the first day of school. They were close to his mom and he hadn't known until after the threat was over.

Now he knew that he had to find a way to stop this alpha pack once and for all and if that meant working with Derek then he'd do it. Scott thought over the words Deucalion said to him, that they would pay by losing someone dear.

If they learned anything from the blind werewolf was that his words were cryptic and more often than none held a double meaning.

Deucalion had already wormed his way into Derek's mind once, broke Boyd by killing Erica, and erased and tampered with Isaac's mind. What if this was just a trap like Allison said, drawing them away from the others by using hallucinations of possible scenarios.

That was impossible Lydia was safe with Danny in a house surrounded by mountain ash, Deaton was safe in his home and Stiles and Ms. Blake were at the loft. Allison's dad was with them and that left his mom alone.

That was everyone who was in the know of werewolves and the alpha pack so no one else was in danger, right?

Something wasn't settling with him in his mind...his wolf wasn't at ease almost as if it felt something was wrong. He wondered if Derek felt the same.

Allison quickly pulled into the lot of the hospital parking close to where Derek had parked. The rain hadn't stopped but it had calmed a bit. Both Allison and Scott stepped out of the vehicle and started moving toward Derek and the others.

As the walked together, their hands brushing each other,they both stopped as they saw the sheriff walking toward his cruiser. The sheriff turned to she the couple and stopped, looking at Scott slightly perplexed.

"Scott? What are you doing here?" He asked as he narrowed his eyes at the boy and crossed his arms. Scott swallowed, he had not expected to see Stiles dad out here.

"Uhhh...visiting my mom...dropping off some dinner for her." He quickly lied motioning the duffle bag Allison was carrying.

The girl quickly gave him a bright smile trying to show the man everything was ok.

"Oh...so where's Stiles?" He asked and his voice took an accusatory tone.

He probably thought Stiles had lied to him again...which technically he had. Scott was drawing a blank. _Crap_.

"He's at the house with Lydia and Danny. Mrs. McCall called asking if we could bring her dinner and since it's raining I brought Scott so he wouldn't drive the motorcycle." Allison quickly lied.

Scott could hear the uptake of her heart as she gave the sheriff the fake story. If Scott had spewed out that lie he would have been caught already. Thank god he didn't know Allison's tells.

"Alright, drive safely I don't want you two to have an accident." He warned the teens as he continued to his cruiser.

"Oh, and tell Stiles to behave and be home early." Both teens nodded and with that said the man left leaving the teens to breathe easier.

"Come on we need to hurry up." Allison hissed as they both walked faster to the rest of the pack.

Things were only going to get harder from here.

 

Derek watched as Scott and Allison were stopped by Stiles' father of all people. Stiles had lied to his father in order for this to work. Stiles was adamant about keeping his father in the dark, he saw the risks and danger Mrs. McCall went through for being in the know.

Derek understood where Stiles was coming from, his father was his only family left. His mother died when he was younger, his grandparents were gone, his mother had no other siblings and hadn't been close to anyone in her family and his father had a younger sister that basically was nonexistent.

Yes, Derek knew about Stiles family, they had spent a summer together it was bound to happen. Stiles only had his father, he had no siblings or anyone else to keep him going.

Even though he often felt that Scott was like a brother to him, that relationship had strain since last year. Keeping the sheriff out of the world of werewolves worked better for Derek, the less people knew the better.

Derek wasn't going to take that piece of mind away from the boy. He need some sort of normalcy in his life, and that was his father. Derek could feel the agitation coming from the other wolves as they waited for the sheriff to leave, ignorant of the truth.

Maybe Derek could convince Stiles to consider telling his father the truth once this was all over. That would allow Stiles to be open to his father without worrying that he would let something slip incriminating the pack.

Everyone stood ready as they saw the police cruiser leave and Scott and Allison quickly run toward them. The plan was finally in motion.

He let his senses run a bit trying to feel if one of the alphas were lurking around. He felt nothing...it was quiet and wet but no vague trails of any of the alphas' scents crossed by.

Strange.

"We need to hurry." Cora quickly suggested as they all started to go to their pair.

They still had a plan going...but something didn't feel right. Derek's wolf was clawing at him, whining, thrashing within him...it felt something...something was wrong but he didn't know what.

"Derek?" Peter asked, causing him to look over at his uncle.

His green eyes met with his uncle's pale blue eyes. He saw that his uncle understood, something wasn't right.

"Scott, Cora go locate Mrs. McCall, everyone else go to your positions." He ordered. Everyone nodded and left toward their marked places, leaving Derek alone with Peter.

"Something doesn't feel right." Derek admitted as he gazed around the lot.

He didn't care how the rain had plastered his hair to his forehead, how his clothes clung to him now and added extra weight. He blinked letting the drops of water on his eyelashes fall as he returned to look at his uncle, in the same disarray.

"Normally I'd say you're being paranoid, which frankly you kind of always are," he couldn't help but snark, "but, I agree something doesn't feel right."

All snark was gone as Peter took a serious tone with his nephew.

"What exactly did Deucalion tell Scott?"

 

Stiles groaned as he paced back and forth looking out into the skies. The dark clouds kept rolling in, now bringing thunder into the mix. This storm was seriously a sign. In the wakes of the clouds was the moon, thank good it wasn't the full moon but instead it was the new moon or sometimes known as the dark moon.

Instead of the brightness the moon would show it was darker, hardly seeping through the clouds like normal storms...or a least when he'd check as a child. He had spent over an hour on the phone with Lydia and Danny while Ms. Blake sat beside him worrying for Derek and the others.

They hardly spoke to each other during their time. He would sit only to have his leg bounce uncontrollably from the anxiety, he would go to the desk to look at the plans only to have e pen in his hand tap obnoxiously against the metal table.

Throughout Stiles annoying gestures Ms. Blake never told him to stop, to quit it or threaten him with bodily harm. It was almost as if she understood his spastic nature, and he definitely forgot to take his Adderral today so he was less focused than usual.

"Stiles, you need to calm down." Ms. Blake insisted as he continued pacing.

The teacher had been trying to get him to calm down, even drink tea with her. Seriously how was there tea? This was Derek's loft, how in the hell did the place have tea in the small kitchen.

Wait, if there was tea it was because she brought it, which meant that she had some of her things in the place, which meant things were serious, which meant that Derek was serious, which meant that they were serious.

Stiles groaned as he scrubbed his face trying to push away those thoughts.

So what if Derek had seen Ms. Blake as something more than their teacher, so what if things were serious. He deserved to be happy right? Have someone to love him, give him things he wanted like a family.

Stiles couldn't do that, he'd never be able to give him kids...sure maybe adoption...no, that had to stop.

It was just an unrequited crush, nothing else.

He spent the last ten years being in love with Lydia Martin, he had gotten over it...sort of so this stupid crush would disappear too. The guy wasn't even gay or remotely bisexual so why suffer for an impossibility.

Maybe he should ask Danny for advice, convince him to go out to the club and find someone for him. Stiles didn't care if he dated a girl or a guy, once this whole alpha mess was over he wanted someone to remind him he was normal.

"Stiles." There was that stern teacher voice, he'd grown use to.

Slowly he turned to face the woman, "you need to sit down and relax. You can't keep this up. You've done enough for the pack, your job is done."

"But it's not done. What if I made a mistake somewhere? What if I'm wrong and I just sent them to there deaths? What if they kill Mrs. McCall? How can I even look at Scott after that? All this is my fault, if I hadn't dragged him into the woods...what if...what if..." He didn't finish gasping for air.

Quickly, Ms. Blake dropped her cup, rushing toward the boy as he collapsed to the ground breathing shakily, gasping for air. He was having a panic attack.

"Stiles breathe with me," she gripped both his arms pulling him close to her chest. "Focus on my breathing Stiles, focus on your own breathing. Remember we are all hear, you have to believe nothing will go wrong." She insisted as she exaggerated her breathing in order for Stiles to mimic.

Slowly, Stiles gained his breathing, sure it was shaky but the tightness that had gripped his chest momentarily disappeared. Crisis averted. He hated getting the panic attacks but it was the way his body responded, the way his body seemed to cope when the stress became too much for him.

His body was still shaking but slowly he stood up, helping Ms. Blake up as well.

"Sorry..." He mumbled apologetically as he scratched the back of his neck, avoiding her face.

"It's fine Stiles. Believe me, if I was alone I'd probably be doing the same." She admitted as she guided the boy over to the couch she was occupying moments ago.

They didn't say anything after, just sipped the tea that was cold now but he wasn't going to complain...out loud. He trusted Ms. Blake like any other teacher but to trust her as a friend...that was harder for him.

Maybe it was because she was trying too hard, trying to win his trust, the packs trust now that she was here to stay apparently. Maybe once this was all over, he'd try to open up a bit. Follow Derek's example in confiding with the woman.

"Has anyone called you?" Stiles asked, looking around the loft. She shook her head,

"no...it's been two hours now...shouldn't have we heard something by now?" She was concerned, no doubt about it.

"Technically, yes but..." He stopped short once he heard his phone go off.

He jumped out of his seat running toward the table. It had to be Scott, something had gone wrong. He nearly tripped over the table as he gripped his phone, expecting Scott's name or even Derek's name to light up on his screen.

What he wasn't expecting was his dad.

He fumbled as he accepted the call.

"Hey dad, how's it hanging?" He tried to sound normal, casual so he wouldn't suspect a thing.

"Stiles, what did you do?" So it hadn't worked.

"Wha..." He spluttered, "dad I haven't done anything...just here at Scott's...you know studying..."

"Studying?"

"Ummm yeah that's what I said." What was his dad getting at?

"Stiles, look I want you to do me a favor." He started, wait what was going on?

"Dad?" He looked over to Ms. Blake, she was looking concerned as well.

"Look, stay at Scott's tonight, come home in the morning and we'll have a talk ok." He sounded exhausted.

"Wait, is everything ok?"

"Look, it's just this whole storm...it got me thinking...we don't spend enough time together. I don't want that Stiles, this strain..." He sighed loudly.

Stiles swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

"Dad...are you ok?" He whispered into the phone, causing Ms. Blake to walk up to him.

"Yes son, just tired...look come home tomorrow ok I don't want you driving in this storm...stay safe..."

"Dad? Wait..." Stiles didn't get to finish.

He heard a loud crash from his dad's end and nothing else...the call had dropped.

"Dad?" Nothing, "DAD!" He shouted but again nothing.

"Stiles? What is it? What's wrong?" Ms. Blake asked as Stiles stared at his phone.

"He...he was telling me...something's wrong...the line went dead." He looked up at her, "what if something happened to him?"

His chest was tightening again. Just then the lights flickered off. That caused Ms. Blake to gasp.

"See...it's probably the cell towers...the storm must've disrupted the calls."

"If that's true...how are they going to call us?" Stiles demanded as he kept trying to call his dad.

"Stiles..."

"It's not going through...I heard a crash...what if my dad got hurt..."

"Listen...trust Derek and the others to protect him..."

"I can't." He whispered moving away from her.

He didn't need to look over to her to see that she was confused.

"Don't you trust..." She started but he cut her off.

"I trust Derek with my life...Scott too but...I can't trust them to protect my dad. I can't lose him ok...I need him and if something happened to him...then it'd be my fault." He admitted.

"Look..."

"I'm going out there to fine my dad. I don't care ok...stay here if you want but I'm going out there." No one was changing his mind, not even Derek himself would stand in his way.

"Wait I'm going with you." She shouted after Stiles as he stormed out of the loft.

His first priority was his father and no one was going to stop him.

 

"Well this has been a very productive evening." Peter had to state the obvious.

Nothing happened, it had been three hours going past 11 already and not even a possible trail that would lead to the alphas. Everyone was soaked, the storm had picked up and that left everyone uncomfortable.

This didn't make sense, the alphas had clearly threatened Scott's mom...that's what the boy had said. Derek and Peter made their way back to the hospital after searching the woods near the hospital.

Scott and Cora had reported that nothing was out of the usual from the inside and Allison assured them that no one had entered the building. So what happened? Had they seen that they were protecting the woman and left?

No, that wasn't how they acted, ever since they lost Ennis, the alpha pack would attack at any opportunity regardless if there were witnesses involved.

Something was wrong.

"So that was a complete waste." Isaac scoffed as he shook his damp hair under the small covering near the parking garage of the hospital.

Peter rolled his eyes as usual while Boyd shrugged out of his wet jacket. Scott and Cora hurried over to them while the Argents came from the other side. Scott was the first to speak as the grouped.

"Mom says that she hasn't seen either Kali or Deucalion in the hospital in weeks. Do you think something happened?" Everyone looked at Derek, waiting to see if he caught something.

He shook his head. "Stiles doesn't make mistakes Scott..." Derek reminded causing the brunette to scoff.

"I didn't say that...it's just...what the hell? He threatened my mom and he didn't show."

"So you're mad that he didn't come to kill your mom?" Cora asked with a little amusement in his voice.

"What...no I didn't..." Scott was flustered causing Cora to smirk.

"He didn't mean it like that ok. It's more on the lines that this plan was a bust." Allison jumped into the little thing Scott and Cora were doing.

Derek was not touching this whole thing, he was going to ignore it. Since Cora came into their pack, she had taken interest in all his betas mostly Isaac and Scott much to his dismay.

She also had some sass battles going on with Stiles too but he knew that his sister didn't have any romantic feelings for the boy...at least he hoped she didn't.

Allison hadn't taken kindly to the budding relationship Cora had formed with Scott. She was a threat to Allison, trying to come and steal the possibility of being with the boy. Seriously the whole love drama thing was getting old fast with his pack.

Isaac was in the triangle as well, honestly making it a square. Derek was beyond glad he was not a teenager and dealing with this stupid childish crap. He saw Cora bare her teeth at the huntress with a small smirk.

Leave it to Cora to rile the girl up, she reminded him a lot of Laura. The girl idolized their older sister, growing to almost resemble her as well but no...he wouldn't think of that now.

He saw as Allison's hand twitched, gripping her crossbow tighter. He had to put a stop to it.

" **Enough**!" He growled at the girls, causing Cora to lower her gaze.

"Now that the teenage drama is done can we go back to the task at hand?" Peter reminded as he stood casually by the concrete pillar.

Derek would never admit that his uncle had a way that allowed him to reign control of the pack. Derek longed for that ability, but it could wait.

"Scott are you sure that Deucalion specifically targeted your mom?" Derek asked.

Scott immediately stood stiffer, his eyes narrowing at the alpha. "Yes, he was there standing like you were and told me that." He insisted.

"Are you sure? What were his exact words?" Derek demanded, geez the boy was stubborn.

"I already told you! This is stupid Derek, you gotta trust me ok!" Scott was getting angry now, feeling that Derek wasn't trusting the boy to tell him the truth.

"Now is not the time to be getting angry Scott, what were Deucalion's exact words, that's all were asking." Peter added, the man was on Derek's side.

Scott let a small growl slip as he huffed away from the group. "He said that my interference was getting to be a nuisance ok? He said that he was going to destroy the pack by breaking us apart...by killing someone close to me."

Derek and Peter shared a look, one that was not missed by Argent.

"Scott did he specifically say your mom? Did he say he was going to kill someone close to you? You specifically?" Chris asked, worry lacing his words.

Scott stood stunned. "N-n-no...he never said..." He whispered.

Derek stalked over to Scott almost instantly. "What did he say Scott!" He ordered, his alpha eyes bleeding into his normal green.

"I..."

"His exact words Scott!"

"He said he was going to rip the pack apart...that he'd kill someone close to us and that would break up the pack. That once we lost that person...we'd be easier to kill!" He shouted back, his gold eyes seeping through as well.

"So it wasn't a direct threat to your mom?" Boyd asked as everyone stood closer together.

"No...but who else could it be?" He insisted.

"It could be anyone! We spent almost four hours protecting someone who wasn't in danger! We left everyone vulnerable!" Cora shouted back.

The threat was directed to the entire pack not Scott alone. Suddenly a phone started ringing, Derek saw Allison fumble with the small device. Her heartbeat picked up causing everyone to look at the girl immediately.

"Lydia? What's going on? Are you hurt? Is Danny hurt?" She asked quickly.

"No...we're both fine..." The wolves heard Lydia's voice answer the huntress questions.

"Then why..."

"The phones have been dead for over an hour Allison! I couldn't get in touch with anyone until recent. Look I think the plan was wrong ok! Danny got a text from Ethan an hour ago saying that you guys were at the wrong place!" Lydia quickly added cutting Allison off.

Everyone's heart drop instantly upon hearing that.

"What? What did the text say?" Allison demanded.

"It said that you're at the wrong place, that in order for the pack to fall someone had to break." Someone had to break? What did that mean?

"Why didn't you call earlier!" Scott demanded as he grabbed the phone away from Allison.

"The towers were down Scott! I tried ok and then Stiles but nothing went through until recent. Stiles isn't at the loft he left a while ago going to the police station..."

"What?!" Derek shouted as he walked over to Scott who looked just as shocked.

"His dad called and something happened to him...he and Ms. Blake left to see if he could find out what happened." Lydia explained.

Derek immediately pulled out his phone going to Jen's name. He moved away while the group was still talking to Lydia.

"Derek? Thank god you called." He heard the woman's soft voice answer.

"Jen, where are you and Stiles right now?" He demanded not bothering to be a bit more compassionate with the woman.

Stiles always managed to get himself in trouble.

"We're...we're at the police station...Stiles father hasn't reported in and Stiles..." She stuttered.

"Let me talk to Stiles!" He shouted.

He heard movement from her end as well as the others behind him.

"They have my dad." Stiles whispered to the phone.

His voice sounded broken and almost instantly everything clicked into place.

"Stiles." Peter said almost in conformation.

"What about Stiles?" Isaac asked but no one answered, the betas didn't make the connection.

"Where is he? Do you have a location?" Derek demanded in his harsh voice but now they were running out of time.

"He's down the main road...his car hasn't moved for over twenty minutes Derek, he's near the intersection that leads to the preserve."

"We'll go get him Stiles, you stay with Jen..."

"Like hell I am! I'm going out there Derek! I'm going to find my dad!" He protested against the alphas orders.

"Stiles stay put! Do not..."

"No Derek! I'm going to find my dad!" With that the line ended.

Derek looked over to the group, he had roughly less than ten minutes to go out and find Stiles father before the teen went out there and got himself killed.

"Chris, you and Allison..."

"We're going to get Lydia and Danny." Allison jumped in getting a questioning look from the alpha.

"Why?" He was barely apart of the conversation. His wolf was clawing at him to leave and find the sheriff.

"If we're taking the alphas down we need help and Lydia's made Molotov cocktails for us to use making it easier for us to kill them." She insisted. Derek was over the conversation already.

"Fine go! Everyone else lets move." He commanded as he took off into the rain.

"What about the cars?" He heard Isaac ask as the ran down the street and into the woods.

"Our speed is key now, we can't use a car to reach the sheriff in time." Peter explained as he kept pace with Derek, the others following behind.

"But why do they have the sheriff?" Cora didn't seem to understand the choice.

"Because it will hurt Stiles." Peter answered, Derek chose to leave the man to answer all the betas questions while he focused on locating the sheriff.

"Why Stiles? He's not that important in this...how is that going to break the pack up?" Boyd asked and suddenly it dawned on them.

"Stiles is the researcher, he's the one who brings us together..." Scott whispered, "he's the one who insisted I come and work with Derek...he convinced you to come back Boyd, he brought you to work things out with Derek, Isaac...how didn't we see it?" He mainly asked himself.

"If they hurt the sheriff...that means..." Cora gasped, finally understanding the place of the boy in her brother's pack. "He's the glue...we lose him..."

"We lose everyone dear niece. Deucalion has been searching for talents, he hasn't by passed Stiles but his persistence in the entire situation has brought Deucalion's plans to a halt. He's already pin each and every one of us against each other and Stiles was able to get it through our thick skulls how we work better as a group not individually. By eliminating Stiles leaves us vulnerable."

"But why not kill him directly?" Boyd asked, that was a good question but it wasn't how Deucalion worked.

No, he recognized that Stiles could be a huge benefit to a pack, Peter wasn't wrong when he said he would make a good wolf.

"Because he wants Stiles broken..." Derek answered, his voice was raw with emotion, "someone broken is easier to manipulate into doing what you want." He answered truthfully.

"We need to hurry." Scott was right, they couldn't waste time.

Everyone picked up the pace quickly, finally catching a faint trail of the alpha pack.

 

"You need to slow down Stiles, the road isn't safe." Ms. Blake was freaking out, she had gotten into the jeep with an emotional teenager with no regards what so ever for the law. He was on a one way track and nothing was standing in his way.

She gripped the door tighter as he zoomed past another red light. Yup, tonight was the night she would die.

"Try calling again!" He shouted.

Normally he'd be nicer but that seemed to vanish, in fact he wouldn't blame her if she would slap him at this point. He noticed from the corner of his eye that she had the phone pressed to her ear, biting her thumb. Like before there was no signal, nothing.

"I'm sorry Stiles." He slammed his hand up against the steering wheel.

Nothing, he hadn't heard from his dad in over thirty minutes. The anxiety was eating at him.

"Ok...there's a tracker in his cruiser...I'll just access it through the computer and..."

"Wait how are you going to get passed the front?" Ms. Blake had to add her input.

She wasn't used to how her students would disregard the rules as if they never existed.

"They know me in the place...I'll just lie to them ok." He said as he pulled into the station.

He quickly turned the car off, jumping out of the jeep leaving Ms. Blake behind.

"Stiles! Wait!" She called out after the boy but he didn't stop.

He skidded inside, almost slipping on the linoleum floor as he ran to the front desk.

"Whoa, are you alright...Stiles?" The lady behind the front desk asked.

"Hey...ummm so has my dad contacted you?" He had a plan...okay a half assed plan but a plan.

"Ummm...no. All the radios have been down. This weather has disrupted everything." She admits as she shuffles through paper work and the computer.

"Oh...well I'm just gonna go back to my dad's office and..." He started going toward the back but she quickly intercepted him.

"Why? You're not allowed back there unless your father escorts you in." She reminds, damn Stiles is drawing a blank on her name.

"Look...I kinda locked myself out of the house and I know my dad keeps a spare in his office. Can I please go and get them...please?" He begs, hoping he can pull off Scott's pleading look.

Maybe that look only works on Allison or something. The lady sighs and shakes her head.

"Make it quick..." But stops short when one of the radios go off leaving her a mess.

Stiles turns to see Ms. Blake enter and he quickly motions her to follow while the lady is distracted...was her name Sheila? Not important.

They quickly entered his father's office and shut the door behind him. The scanners were working now so he'd be able to locate his dad. He quickly went toward the desk, dropping some of the papers his father had left scattered around.

"How do you know how to do this?" Ms. Blake asked as she watch the boy click away on the computer.

"Umm...well...you know being alone...worrying..." He starts but sighs, she wasn't going to rat him out, "ok so I keep tabs on my dad. I have the same program installed at home but since its too far to drive out there I can easily access it here. Honestly anyone can, it's not secure or anything." He admits as the computer screen starts showing codes and coordinates.

He feels Ms. Blake stand behind him as he scrolls looking for his dad's identification number.

"How do you understand this?"

"Each cruiser has a police scanner built in, no one has one specific car and they have to log into the computer with their id. I've memorized that number in order to track my dad. By finding the police scanner you can get the coordinates of where they are and use the map to pinpoint their exact location." He explained and he heard her scoff.

"If only you were this dedicated with your school work." She smirked as she continued watching the boy.

"Yeah...well my talent lies outside of school."

"Clearly." She muttered and Stiles couldn't help but smirk, at least she recognized he had talents.

He skimmed down the codes until he found his father's. He quickly clicked and found the coordinates. He pulled up the log information, seeing how long he had been there and if there had been an attempt to call for help. He saw the delayed requests...something happened.

"Stiles?" Ms. Blake asked, noticing the boy's change.

"He...he called for back up...like twenty minutes ago..." He whispered as he looked over to her.

Quickly she pulled her phone trying to get a hold of Derek. Stiles quickly accessed the map and saw that his father wasn't doing his normal route, he was headed for the preserve. Why was he out there? He quickly pulled out calls or any reports and found one...a car accident. Only his dad and another cruiser were there.

"Nothing Stiles, the towers are still down..."

"Try Lydia..." He insisted.

"But..."

"Please...we don't have time." He insisted while he worked in trying to find a way to get a hold of his father.

He open drawer after drawer until he found a radio. He quickly turned it on and quickly placed it on the frequency that his father was on.

"Dad! Can you hear me? Dad, pick up!" He shouted and waited but no response.

"Stiles, it's ringing...hello Lydia?" Ms. Blake exclaimed as she spoke to the girl, informing her to what had happened.

"Dad please..." He begged on the radio but nothing.

"Stiles! What the hell were you thinking?!" He jumped hearing the voice of Lydia Martin.

When had Ms. Blake put her on speaker phone.

"Lydia..."

"Shut it Stilinski! You were told to stay at home! Do you ever listen to what we tell you?" She was practically scolding him.

"But my dad..."

"Listen Stiles, get back to the loft now!" That was Danny's voice. "It was all a trap...Ethan texted me...you and Ms. Blake can't be alone and unprotected get back now!" It was all fake?

They weren't targeting Mrs. McCall? He left the loft which was suppose to be safe...he put Derek's lady friend—because girlfriend sounded childish— in danger.

Oh crap, Derek was going to kill him.

His dad just had reported to a normal scene, nothing supernatural about it.

"Ok...we're going...just..." He cut himself short once he heard the static of the radio.

He gripped it tightly waiting to hear his dad respond.

"Honestly...how can your alpha leave his humans all alone?" A feminine voice purred through the static.

Stiles heart dropped in that instance. He heard Ms. Blake gasp loudly, recognizing the voice as well.

He quickly responded back, "leave him alone Kali..."

"Ah, is the little human giving me orders? I don't think so." She crooned back making Stiles blood boil.

She had his dad.

"Listen if..." Again she cut him off.

"Tell me...how long does it take for a human to bleed out? A werewolf it can take minutes or hours depending on the wound and who inflicted the wound...but if I'm right your father can't heal." She mused.

They were going to kill him...the threat was his dad...but why?

"Tell your alpha he has half an hour before we slit his throat...or maybe less before the blood leaves his body." With that said the line ended.

"Stiles! Answer me damn it!" He heard Lydia's voice in the background but he didn't care...his mind was in shock.

His father was in the hands of the alphas...he was involved in something he had tried to avoid bringing him into. He vaguely heard as Ms. Blake found her voice and explained to Lydia the news. Instantly a plan was being drawn and he was out of the loop.

His priority was finding his father.

That's what they wanted right, for him to come to the fight.

"Derek? Thank god you called." That snapped Stiles back from his thoughts.

Derek, he had to know, he had to save his dad. Ms. Blake hesitantly handed stiles the phone after explaining where they were. She looked shaken up. He quickly place the phone to his ear.

"They have my dad." He didn't know how he was able to talk.

Right now he felt like crying, screaming...attacking someone. He felt all the emotions running through his body...he had to act now.

"Where is he? Do you have a location?" Derek demanded in his harsh voice, had he spoken to Ms. Blake like that?

Quickly Stiles responded by giving him the information he had gathered.

"He's down the main road...his car hasn't moved for over twenty minutes Derek, he's near the intersection that leads to the preserve."

"We'll go get him Stiles, you stay with Jen..." Derek was ordering him again.

Something snapped at that moment. He was not sitting this out. No, Derek could screw himself. He wasn't leaving his dad with those psychotic alphas.

"Like hell I am! I'm going out there Derek! I'm going to find my dad!" He shouted into the receiver causing the woman to jump in surprise.

"Stiles stay put! Do not..." He didn't bother listening.

"No Derek! I'm going to find my dad!" With that he ended the call.

His body was shaking, it was all his fault. He brought the danger into his dad's life. How could Derek even think he'd stay put. He quickly stood from the chair and walked over to the door but felt a hand wrap around his wrist. He looked down to see Ms. Blake's hand holding him down and slowly looked up to see her soft green eyes, rimming with tears that hadn't spilled over yet.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked as he tried to shake her loose.

"My dad is out there with Kali and..."

"What do you plan to do Stiles? Attack her with your bat? What about Aiden and Ethan? They will kill you." Of course she had to bring the logic.

"What am I suppose to do? Wait here and hope Derek reaches them in time? They are going to kill my dad! Do you understand that?" His voice was getting higher and higher with each passing moment.

"You need to trust that Derek can save him. They might be using him as bait to get to you Stiles. Are you really going to go out there so they can kill you?" Why did she have to make his plan look idiotic.

He knew he'd be going to his death if he ran straight to the alphas.

"What am I suppose to do?" He was out of options, "if he dies...it'll be my fault...I killed my mom and now I'm going to kill him." He remembered the hallucination he went through that night on Lydia's birthday party a year ago.

His father blamed him for his mother's untimely death. Now this was going to be on his conscious.

"No Stiles. No one is dead and no one will die. It's a bluff. Derek and the others will stop them. I promise you that nothing will happen to your father." Stiles looked up at her.

He could feel his tears ready to fall down his cheeks. He quickly hugged her at that moment. He needed someone to ground him at that moment, he needed someone to reassure him that everything was going to be fine. Scott would protect his dad...so would Derek.

He had to trust in his pack...they wouldn't let him down.

Ms. Blake hugged the boy, rubbing his back soothingly. She shouldn't have made that promise but she honestly believed Derek would not let the boy down. She noticed the odd relationship both men had. She knew that Derek cared for the boy and he wouldn't let him down.

Stiles took a shaky breath as he wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. He looked up at his English teacher and gave her a small smile.

"Ok...but...I have to go out there ok? Like right now...just to see if he's alright ok." He insisted.

She returned the small smile, she couldn't change his mind.

"Alright...but I drive." She proposed as she extended her hand for his keys.

Stiles groaned but gave into her. Truth be told he wasn't in his right state of mind to drive. They quietly left the station and as they walked toward the jeep. Stiles noticed the rain had dropped from a heavy storm to a lighter rainstorm. He climbed into the passenger seat and waited for Ms. Blake to started the car.

"You can drive stick, right?" He asked and she snorted lightly.

"Of course I can." And with that said she drove off toward the direction of his dad.

 _Please be ok dad. Don't leave me please._ He kept repeating over and over in his mind.

He had to stay positive...even though positivity wasn't in his mind at the moment.

 

Derek came to a stop as he heard a shift coming from the road. There was a strong smell of burning gasoline and tires. He looked over to see Peter point at the smoke emanating from the road. Slowly and stealthily they moved toward the smoke and as they grew closer to the source they heard the laughter.

"Seriously? Your stealth sucks." Derek heard one of the twins laugh out.

"What else is expected from a pathetic pack." The other twin answered.

So much for catching the enemy by surprise. They slowly emerged from the woods, Peter trailing behind while Derek stood up front with Scott close by and the others behind. Stand near a burning car was Deucalion with Kali crouching beside a prone body. Ethan and Aiden both emerged from either side of the burning car but not alone. There were at least six betas walking toward them.

So Deucalion brought an army with him, trying to even the odds.

He heard Scott's intake of breathe when he saw the body. It was the sheriff. Derek could hear the faint heartbeat but he couldn't count on that.

"If it isn't the Hale pack. I was wondering if you'd show." Deucalion stated as he played with his cane.

"Let the sheriff go Deucalion. He has nothing to do with this." Derek tried to hold down the growl that was bubbling to come out.

"Come now Derek...where's the fun in that? Besides consider this punishment for not listening to orders." Kali smirked as she lightly touched the sheriff's face with her claws.

That caused all the wolves to growl at her.

"Now Kali, don't kill the man before everyone arrives." Deucalion reminded the female.

This caused Scott to spring into action.

"Scott wait!" Derek shouted but it was to late.

Aiden took off after Scott, intercepting him before he even reached Deucalion. Scott and Aiden struggled a bit but the alpha managed to pin the beta down. Scott might be stronger than any of Derek's betas but he was still no alpha. Aiden was able to over power him almost instantly.

This caused a chain reaction.

Cora and Isaac took off causing Deucalion's betas to jump in. Derek was able to tell that those betas had years of training, they'd over power them almost instantly. Ethan went after Boyd, even though the boy hadn't gone after them. There was some sort history between the two and Boyd wanted the twin dead.

There was loud snarls and growls as the fight continued.

Derek took off going after Deucalion himself. He owed it to Stiles to try and protect his father.

He ignored the howls, the sickening sounds of claws ripping through flesh, focusing on the main alphas scent, letting his wolf out. Before he even reacted the blind man, he was slammed back by Kali. She roared in his face causing him to roar back, reverberating through the forest, causing some of the betas to stagger a bit. No one could resist the roar of an alpha, demonstrating their power against another.

Her claws dug into the flesh of his arm as she quickly hurled him toward a car. Derek crouched down snarling as he faced the woman again. He still hadn't forgotten how she had stuck a pipe through his torso. He swiped at the woman's throat but she quickly moved to grip his arm pulling it back. He threw his weight back at her trying to remove her.

She staggered a bit but at the end managed to sink her claws in the back of his neck. She was close enough that she could sever his spinal cord with the flick of her wrist. She pushed him down to his knees as he saw his pack. It didn't matter that the pack consisted of five betas, their bonds were weak and he wasn't strong enough to take down the alpha.

Aiden had Scott in a similar position Derek was in. Scott looked frustrated and defeated, Derek could almost feel the guilt emanating from him...he couldn't save his best friends father. Isaac and Cora were on the ground with two betas holding each of them down. Cora kept struggling but that caused one of the female betas to dig her claws into the flesh in his sister's arms.

Boyd was on all fours, gasping for air as Derek saw that Ethan had his right hand wrapped around the boys throat with his claws slowly digging in. His other hand was lodged into Boyd's back, preventing him from moving. Peter was down on his knees with the last two betas holding him down.

Derek had half expected the man to run away but he hadn't.

"Well that was rather amusing. Did you all honestly expect to win?" Deucalion moved over toward the sheriff's body. "Tell me Derek, how long did it take you to realize my plan?" He asked, turning to face the man in question.

Derek said nothing. Just glowered at the alpha.

"See I came here thinking that you'd kill your pack and join us, but you refused. Then Mr. McCall here had to come in. The boy has a knack on wanting to save everyone. Hate to break it to you boy, but no one is safe from the demon wolf." Scott growled only to turn into a whimper when Aiden tightened his grip.

"Your pack is a joke Derek, you have betas who willingly follow another beta over you. That said beta has the potential to be an alpha but refuses. He refuses to submit to you and refuses to take on the role as alpha. You even work with hunters, what respected alpha would work with their enemy?" He sighed as he crouched beside the sheriff. "I thought it would be easy...sure I expected resistance but then you'd see the way. All you had to do was kill one beta but no...you pushed them away, leaving yourself weak. I expected that actually. You're a martyr, you've become an alpha who would sacrifice his life for these ratted teenagers. I expected you to be broken after two of your betas abandoned you...but you weren't. I asked myself, how was this joke of an alpha still coping? Then Ethan mentioned a boy." There was a small smirk on his lips. "A boy who runs with wolves, bleeds for wolves and yet wasn't a wolf. No, he's just human but he's special isn't he? He's able to bring in your betas, able to figure things out quickly...able to unite your misfit pack even. The plan was simple have you Derek, have you destroy your pack but then I wondered...what is the best way to suffer? How can I make you suffer...your entire pack suffer."

"I suggested we kill the boy but sadly I was out voted." Kali chuckled as she whispered into Derek's ear.

"Yes, killing...Stiles..." The smile was obvious now, "would have been a possibility but he has so much potential. He's still young but give him some years and he'd be perfect. Tell me, how can you all live with yourselves knowing you all killed the boy's father?"

"You can't!" Scott gasped out only to but punched in the face.

"Believe me boy I can. And I will." He raised his hand up, showing his claws and was ready to come down on the man when they heard a loud shot.

Kali roared, releasing Derek immediately as she howled in pain. Tires screeched to a halt. Stepping out was Allison with her bow in hand, aiming at Aiden's back. Derek ran toward the betas holding Cora down throwing them up against the other betas holding Isaac.

Derek heard another roar as Ethan ran from Boyd toward Deucalion holding his arm, an arrow sticking out. The other betas holding Peter released him immediately abandoning their position. Aiden ran toward his brother while the pack regrouped with the hunters.

Derek heard another car approaching and he wasn't alone. Deucalion quickly brought the sheriff up, his claws gripping the man's throat. Everyone froze.

"No one makes any sudden movements or he dies." Deucalion snarled at them.

The alphas were half shifted, taking defensive stances.

"This wasn't how we planned this...guess we'll be leaving now." Deucalion mused as the other car came to a stop.

Derek heard the fast beating of a heart, he recognized the beat. It was Stiles.

"Dad! DAD!" He shouted as he ran toward the man, only to be stopped by someone.

Derek didn't look back to see who, his gaze was set on Deucalion, trying to find a way to stop him. He saw the blind man smile at Derek...that smile sent a shiver down his spine.

All Derek could hear was the steady drips of the rainfall hitting the ground and the rapid heartbeats of his pack and the steady beats of the alphas.

He couldn't fail...he wouldn't...not for Stiles.

 

Stiles kept biting his nails as Ms. Blake drove toward the direction he had told her. His heart was pounding hard against his chest. Nothing had settled, if anything the anxiety was piling up. He jumped when he heard the roars.

He instantly looked to Ms. Blake only to see her pale face.

"That can't be good..." He whispered and jumped again as the police scanner went off.

A dispatcher was requesting help toward the sight his father was at.

"Relax Stiles..." Ms. Blake shakily responded as she stepped on the gas.

She quickly turned to see smoking coming down the strip. Oh god, this was bad.

Stiles removed his seatbelt, gripping the handle ready to jump out of the jeep as it grew closer to the scene. He was able to see the entire pack just standing. All of them were bleeding and were completely drenched but it didn't seem to matter.

Ms. Blake came to a stop and Stiles shot out of there like a bullet. He saw Deucalion holding his father with his claws around his dad's neck.

No, he couldn't...

"Dad! DAD!" He shouted as he ran toward him only to be stopped by Mr. Argent.

He struggled to get the older man to release him but it was useless. Tears were stinging around his eyes as he saw his father slowly come to, was he hit hard when they knocked him out.

"Stiles, so glad you can join us. We've been waiting a while now." The alpha alpha was screwing with Stiles now.

Again the boy struggled but didn't even move an inch.

"Let me go." He said through gritted teeth as he tried to remove Mr. Argent's hands.

"Stop Stiles." The older man insisted but Stiles wasn't listening.

He had to save his dad. He had to stop this lunatic from harming him. He had to do something! Why wasn't anyone doing anything.

"Believe me Stiles...you should have just stayed away." Deucalion smiled as he looked at Derek. "Remember...it's on you."

What did that even mean?

"Stiles?" Stiles looked over those his father was awake and recognized him.

But it was too late, before Stiles could reply he heard the sound of flesh being ripped apart. He heard his father gasp and then drop to the floor in a sickening thud.

Stiles felt everything shatter at that moment. He felt the arms holding him slacken and Stiles took off.

He screamed for his dad, running toward the man not caring that he was basically running toward the alphas.

He dropped to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably. His hands went to his face, holding him, shaking him to talk to him. Then he went to the wound trying to apply pressure.

He kept shouting for help, but none came.

His dad wasn't gone no...he'd be alright.

He heard sirens coming.

Yes, they'd save his dad. His dad would be okay and once he was okay he'd come clean. Stiles would tell his dad everything.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, someone was talking to him but Stiles wasn't listening.

He wasn't leaving his dad.

No he'd stay here. His dad would be okay.

His dad wouldn't leave him.

_You killed your mother, and now you're killing me._

He wasn't dead...he wasn't dead. He couldn't be dead... He was alone.


	2. Numb

_"Stiles..."_

_"He's not dead! He's not dead!"_

_"We have to..."_

_"No! He's going to be ok...he's going to wake up and be ok! He's not dead!"_

_"I'm sorry..."_

_"Shut up! Stop talking like that Scott! He's fine! He's going to wake up and we'll laugh about this one day...he's not dead. He can't be dead_."

 

Derek scrunched his eyes in irritation. He was still at the hospital giving his statement to officers who came on scene. Peter was with him, talking to the doctor who had taken in the sheriff's body.

 

This was his fault. How could he let them win? Stiles trusted him to protect him and he failed the boy. He was beat...broken...pathetic like Deucalion said. He didn't deserve to be an alpha.

He listened to the paramedics and officers conclude that the serial killer had struck. He was the one who slit the sheriff's throat. The deputy riding with Sheriff Stilinski was still unconscious but Peter assured that the woman would not remember what had happened.

The head wound was serious.

God, would this night end already.

Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was the boy. Stiles running toward his father's lifeless body, repeating over and over again that he wasn't dead. He didn't want to accept the fact he was gone.

Once paramedics came, Stiles refused to let go of the man. It got to the point that they had to sedate him, something Derek was not comfortable with. They pronounced the sheriff dead on site.

Now Derek was here with Peter cleaning up the alphas' mess, making sure nothing was connected to the pack. Derek ordered the entire pack to take Stiles, Mrs. McCall suggested her home as to avoid Stiles from going into shock. Derek also told them to stay close to the boy, to not leave him alone for a single moment.

Stiles worse enemy at the moment was himself.

Derek leaned back against the wall in the waiting room, hoping Peter would hurry so he could go and check on Stiles. Mrs. McCall had left with Scott in order to check on Stiles once the sedatives wore off but she'd be back. She would help Stiles with planning his father's funeral.

Derek flinched and quickly opened his eyes, ready to attack when he felt a hand touch his forearm. Jen gasped in shock when she saw Derek's reaction.

"Derek..." She whispered and he shook his head.

"I'm sorry...it's just not a good idea to sneak up on me." He mumbled as he shrugged the woman's hand away.

He felt the hurt from his behavior coming from the woman, but he didn't care he only thought about Stiles and how he was doing.

"I thought you heard me...but you're right I shouldn't have startled you." She apologized as she hugged herself, looking at Derek expectantly.

Derek knew what she wanted, she wanted him to hug her...give her comfort and affection after this long night. But he couldn't...he didn't feel like doing anything except wallow in his own guilt. How many people have died because of him? How was Stiles ever going to forgive him for killing his father?

"Nephew, I think you should take the lady home and check on the pack. Melissa said she was on her way." Derek jumped upon hearing his uncle's voice.

What was going on with him? Having people sneak up on him was not suppose to be possible.

Derek nodded as he started walking toward the entrance. He could hear Jen tell Peter to be careful as she followed Derek out.

"Tell Stiles I'm here for him as well." Derek heard the older man whisper for only him to hear.

Derek didn't respond he just continued walking toward his car. The polite thing to do was walk with Jen, open the door for and be a gentleman like he usually was with her. But at that moment she was in his way to helping Stiles.

He didn't want Stiles to wake up in his own guilt, letting it eat him. He didn't want Stiles to go through what he went through.

 

Everything was numb. He couldn't feel a thing. He had to be dreaming...this was a nightmare. Stiles laid on the bed, looking out the window as he felt the bed dip. A soft hand appeared on his forehead, stroking back his hair.

That person was talking, he could hear a soft buzzing sound around him but he couldn't make out the words. Dad was gone...he was dead...he killed his father.

Stiles instinctively curled into himself a bit more, pulling away from the hand that was trying to comfort him.

He wanted to be alone.

He needed to be alone.

 

Mrs. McCall sighed as she felt Stiles stir a bit, trying to get away from her. She knew that at this moment the boy couldn't be alone, he'd fall into a depression that he wouldn't be able to come out of.

She heard as Stiles mumbled out that he wanted to be alone. She was pretty sure that the boy didn't know he was even talking. He just stare vacantly out the window. His eyes didn't show any emotion, they were dull...unfocused...lifeless.

She stood up and walked toward the door where her son was sitting beside. Scott insisted he stay close to his best friend, refusing to leave him alone. He currently had his head resting on his knees.

They must've been exhausted, they had been up all night.

She tentatively jostled her son, causing him to snap up and hit his head up against the wall, denting it.

"Geez mom...warning." He mumbled as he stood up, stretching a bit.

She looked over to Stiles and back to Scott, motioning him with her head to follow. They stepped out into the hallway, leaving the door ajar as they spoke in hush tones.

"I'm going back to the hospital...I have to get everything in order so Stiles doesn't..." She choked a bit, she still couldn't believe the sheriff was dead.

"It's ok mom..." Scott wrapped his arms around his mom, trying to comfort her as well as himself.

"God, how could this happen...I still can't believe it." She let the tears spill.

She had put a strong face for Stiles. The boy needed everyone around him to be strong...he needed them to lean on.

"I know mom...none of us can." He was still dazed.

"Look..." Melissa pulled away, wiping away her tears, "Stiles...he can't be alone Scott. Watch over him until I get home. Can you do that?"

"Yeah mom...don't worry." She nodded as she hugged her son one last time and went back in to see Stiles.

"Stiles...sweetie..." She approached the boy, kneeling down for the boy to see her. "I have to go but Scott's here...so is everyone else. If you need anything... _anything_...don't hesitate and call." She ran her hand over his hair again.

He didn't reply, just looked beyond her. Not acknowledging whether he understood or not. Baby steps, she had to take baby steps with the boy. She leaned over and kissed his forehead before vacating the room Melissa walked past Scott, but the boy stayed in the hallway instead of going back in the room.

She walked down the stairs to see the rest of the pack in her living room. Cora was hugging both Boyd and Isaac, her eyes glistening with tears. Allison was sobbing with Lydia and Danny, huddled close together on the couch.

She hoped the teens would be strong enough for Stiles. Right now, the boy needed his friends.

 

Scott stood outside the door that lead to one of the guest rooms. Apart of him wanted to go in there and be there for his friend, but the other wanted to run. How could he look Stiles in the face and know he was the reason his dad was dead.

At the end, he choose to walk down and be with the pack. He'd keep an ear out for Stiles, but at the moment Scott felt that he should keep his distance.

At least for right now.

He walked down to see everyone huddled together crying. He went over to sit down on the ground beside the couch Allison. The girl pulled away from her best friend and moved down to sit on Scott's lap, hugging him as she let out her cries.

"How is he?" Boyd asked as he hugged Cora a little tighter.

"I don't know...mom said he's not there. Like he just shut down." Scott sighs, leaning his head back to rest on the cushion.

"He'll be ok right? I mean...I lost my dad and I didn't..." Isaac started but didn't finish.

The boy had lost everyone as well but he wasn't close to his older brother, so when he passed away it didn't destroy him. When the Kanima killed his father he was crushed...but his father abused him so the affection he once had for the man wasn't as strong.

"I don't know man...this is Stiles though...he has to be ok." Scott mumbled as he hugged Allison tighter.

No one spoke after, they all slowly let the exhaustion over take them. Scott knew he should stay awake but the entire fight...it was an overwhelming night.

...

Scott awoke when he heard the stairs creek. How long had he slept? It honestly felt like a few minutes. He looked up to see the clock up on the mantel. The clock read 3. It was only three in the morning?

Scott groan quietly and looked down to the brunette girl asleep beside him. He smiled softly as he saw the girl peacefully sleeping. His attention moved from her toward the stairs again as he heard the stairs creek again.

Gently, Scott moved out of Allison's hold without waking her and stood up. He stretched a bit, feeling stiff from sleeping in an uncomfortable position for so long.

Granted it was two hours of sleep but he had been running on adrenaline.

He quietly moved out of the living room, passing Boyd, Cora and Isaac who were sleeping in a small pile together. He silently walked toward the stairs to see his best friend coming down.

Scott offered him a small smile. If he was out of the room it was because he was fine now right? He saw as the boy looked down at from the stairs. Stiles didn't give him a small, instead he continued down the steps.

"Hey Stiles...you alright?" Scott softly asked as the boy reached the bottom step.

Stiles looked at Scott, slightly dazed but his face blank. Scott couldn't help but flinch a bit, he had never seen Stiles so closed off before. Stiles gave him a tight nod.

"Yeah...just need air..." He murmured as he walked past the boy, going toward the front door.

"Alright...I'll come with you..." Scott suggested but Stiles gave no response.

Stiles stood in front of the door for a moment. Scott was confused on why he was stopping? Maybe he should tell his friend to go back upstairs. Yeah, that was a better idea.

Before he could bring up the suggestion, Stiles spoke.

"Just wanna be alone..."

"But..."

"I'll be right outside." He insisted as he gripped the door knob.

Before Scott could argue with Stiles how he shouldn't be alone, he heard someone wake up. He recognized the heartbeat as Allison's. She was going to be looking for him any second.

"Alright...just don't stay out long ok?" Again Stiles gave him a tight nod and opened the door.

As Stiles opened the door, Allison stirred in the living room.

"Scott?" She mumbled sleepily.

Scott turned when he heard his name being called. He heard the soft click of the door. Stiles would be alright, he'd keep tabs on his heartbeat just in case. He quietly went back into the living room to sit beside Allison. She shifted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Where'd you go?" She asked in a soft little whisper.

"Don't worry about it...thought I heard something. Go back to sleep." He mumbled, he didn't need to stress her or the others about Stiles being up.

Maybe Stiles needed to be alone right now. If he'd be here with them he might lose it...honestly he didn't know what Stiles might need. It was better if they just did what Stiles asked of them.

"Stay with me..." Allison mumbled as she dozed off.

"Sure." He promised as he listened to her breathing even out as she fell asleep again.

He tried to fight the heaviness of his eyes, he was still exhausted. Maybe if he closed his eyes for a moment. He'd hear Stiles...he'd be ok. Slowly, Scott let the drowsiness win over, falling completely asleep almost instantly.

He ignored the steady beat outside as it moved further and further away from the house. The turning over of an engine should've been a huge clue for everyone to wake up, but they didn't...they continued sleeping, not realizing the boy outside was leaving.

 

Derek kept his eyes focused on the road. The silence in his car was uncomfortable. Jen had tried to engage in small talk but he didn't bother replying back. He wanted to go over to Scott's home in order to be close to Stiles but he rather go alone.

He took the familiar streets leading toward the woman's home. The streets were empty, which was probably due to the fact it was past 3 in the morning. It'd better a matter of time before the whole town heard about the sheriff's untimely death.

He had no idea how Stiles was going to handle this. Handle the sympathy stares, people offering their condolences, trying to be there for the boy. If Derek was honest with himself, he was terrified to see the boy.

Derek pulled into the driveway of Jen's home and parked the car in order for her to get off. He made no motion to turn the car completely off.

"Derek...do you want to come in? You must be exhausted." Jen slowly placed her hand over his which was up against the gearshift.

Like before in the hospital, he flinched away from her touch. He moved his head a bit to look out his window, avoiding looking at the woman's hurt expression.

"Derek..." She started, he could hear the hurt in her voice.

"You need to go." He roughly answered her.

"What's wrong? I don't understand..." She was confused.

Why was he being so emotionally distant from her now?

"This isn't the time ok...I have to go."

"You're going to see Stiles?" He didn't answer, "I'll go with you Derek. I want to go with you."

Derek sighed heavily, growing irritated with the woman.

"I'm going alone to be with my pack Jennifer." He snapped back not bother to hide his irritation.

"I'm part of your pack too Derek..." She quickly added.

"No you're not." He looked at the woman with cold eyes, emphasizing that he didn't care about her.

She blinked, she was very confused. Hadn't he promised her that he'd come back to her only a few hours ago? She understood that this wasn't the ideal moment to start being clingy but she just seen someone get their throat slit open.

She wanted her boyfriend to at least show a small acknowledgment that he was concerned about her too. She understood that he was worried about Stiles but he couldn't just ignore her too. The fact that he was throwing that she wasn't pack in her face showed how he was lashing out on her.

"You don't mean that Derek...look I get that..."

"No you don't...you don't understand anything." He spat back. "This is my fault. He lost his father because of me. Do you understand that? I took away the only family he had left. How am I suppose to look at him? He trusted me and I failed him...I failed my pack. I wasn't strong enough to kill one damn alpha. I wasn't quick enough to get to the sheriff. I destroyed the only thing keeping Stiles alive..." He could feel his eyes sting with moisture. "Everyone around me gets hurt...and I can't do anything."

"Derek...this wasn't..."

"Get out." He wasn't going to let her say it wasn't his fault when it was.

She sat stunned in his tone. He was kicking her out.

"Go!" He ordered again in a louder voice.

"Derek..." Her breath hitched as she fumbled with her seatbelt.

Derek didn't bother apologizing or even glancing at her direction. Her heartbeat was beating rapidly as she stumbled out of the car. As soon as the door shut, Derek quickly left the woman's house.

He couldn't deal with her anymore. She was someone that he could be happy with but that wasn't his life. He had been lying to himself when he decided to be with the woman. He didn't deserve to be happy.

How could he be happy when everyone around him was miserable? How could he be happy when Stiles had lost all the people he'd been happy with or could have been happy with.

Jennifer would find someone else...Derek was too broken. No matter what she or anyone thought, he wasn't looking to be fixed. He'd help Stiles out, that's all he could do for now.

Derek drove toward the direction of Scott's home. His wolf was anxious to see the boy, to be close to his scent. He was hurting, he could sense it through their bonds. He knew what Stiles was feeling at the moment, Derek himself went through it...Cora had gone through it too.

The loss of family could literally drive a person mad...to do something they'd regret.

Cora ran away to a family friend...that grounded her for a while. Derek had Laura but he also had the guilt eating at him every night. He was the reason why his family died in the fire.

He knew Stiles would go off to blame himself and the alpha couldn't let him do that. Derek would let Stiles blame him, take out his anger, his frustration, his pain and grief out on him.

He would be his alpha, take the responsibility in order for Stiles to be okay.

He vaguely smelt the boy's scent as he grew closer to the house. As he pulled up to the curb he listened to the heartbeats. He could hear seven heartbeats close together.

Wait, seven? Mrs. McCall said that Stiles was staying up in a guest bedroom. He focused on the upstairs and heard nothing. No steady heartbeat, just the drip of the leaky faucet.

He knew Cora would stay at the McCall residence along side Boyd and Isaac. His orders were for them to stay at the house with Stiles.

Lydia's car was in the driveway so the girl had to be there with Danny and Allison. But Stiles' car wasn't there.

His jeep was gone.

That was everyone...if all of them, were downstairs...then where the hell was Stiles?

Derek jumped out of the car not bothering to shut the door. He barged into the home startling his pack awake as he stalked up the stairs, ignoring the shouts of him being rude.

He followed the scent of Stiles into the room and saw the empty bed. The bedspread was a mess, Stiles had been on the bed. That was the only proof that the boy had been there along with his scent.

He left no other evidence of him even occupying the room.

Derek quickly turned around to go back downstairs only to run into Scott halfway down the steps. He could smell the linger scent of Stiles. This caused Derek's eyes to bleed over as he roughly grabbed the teen and slammed him to the wall.

"Where is he?!" He growled, while Scott squirmed in his grasp.

"Let go Derek!" The boy growled back.

It never seemed to surprise Derek that Scott always had to challenge him no matter the situation. Derek felt Boyd and Isaac approach but he growled at both betas making them stop in their tracks.

"Der...let him go ok." Cora cried out and that seemed to reach Derek.

He eased up on his grip but kept the boy pinned. Now was not the time to deal with this bullshit. He needed to find Stiles.

"Where is Stiles?" He slowly asked but kept the force of his words.

He couldn't use the alpha voice to make Scott submit but it would keep the others in line.

"He's outside." Scott huffed as he pushed against Derek's hold.

"Outside? Why the hell is he outside?" He was close to snarling at the boy.

"Let him go Derek. You're hurting him!" He heard Allison cry out and at that Derek turned to face the girl.

"Right now everyone's priority should be Stiles! Not whether I hurt Scott or not. He'll heal from anything I do to him and if Stiles is hurt believe me Scott, I will hurt you." He promised the boy as he tightened his hold on the boy's shirt.

Again he shoved Scott up against the wall causing the boy to whimper a bit. "He wanted fresh air Derek. He wanted to be alone..."

"And you left him alone?!" Derek shouted as he tossed the boy over the bannister.

This caused Allison and Lydia to scream out of pure shock.

"Derek!" He heard Cora shout as Isaac and Boyd moved in to restrain him.

Allison ran to Scott's side as the boy sat up glaring at Derek, baring his teeth.

"Where in that thick head of yours did you think it was a good idea to leave him alone? Do you understand what he's going through? Do you even care? The last thing he needs is to be alone Scott! He can't be alone!" Derek shouted as he tried to pull away from the two betas.

"He said he was fine...he just needed fresh air...that he'd be outside." Scott dropped his gaze to the floor.

Derek could feel the guilt running through him for not being by his best friend's side. Derek knew that Scott could be insensitive most of the time but he probably thought he was doing the right thing for the boy.

He was out of his element...in fact they all were.

"If Stiles isn't here...then where is he?" Danny asked as he hugged a sobbing Lydia close to him.

Derek pulled away from Boyd and Isaac and walked toward the open door of the McCall home. He stood by the threshold, knowing where the boy might have gone to. He looked over to see his sister and saw that she knew where the boy had gone too.

"He went home." Cora croaked as she took a deep breath.

Derek didn't say anything, instead he went to his car. He could hear Cora telling everyone to get into a car and drive to Stiles house. She ordered Scott to call his mom to meet them there. Isaac asked how long Stiles had left the house, Scott responding that he woke up around 3.

Stiles had been on his own for over 45 minutes.

Derek quickly took off from the home, not bothering to listen to whatever else the betas were talking about. A lot could happen in 45 minutes. Right now Stiles wasn't in a stable place.

Derek hoped he'd get there in time.

Derek ran through the stop signs going toward Stiles' home. As he grew closer to the neighborhood he saw the blue jeep parked in the driveway. Derek came to a screeching halt, not caring if he woke up the residents.

As he climbed out of the vehicle, he froze.

It hit him like a punch to the gut.

His wolf howled and snarled, recognizing that a pack mate was hurt. The smell of blood flooded his nose.

It was Stiles' blood.

_Please no...please be ok. Please be ok Stiles._ Derek repeated over and over again as he ran toward the front door.

 

_"DAD!"_

_The sickening thud echoed as the man fell to the ground. Stiles tried running but he couldn't move. Why wasn't he moving?_

_He turned to look for help but he had no one, he was alone. His father kept bleeding out and Stiles couldn't do anything to help him._

_Where was everyone?_

_Why weren't they helping him?_

_Then again...why would they help him? He wasn't important...if he was then this wouldn't be happening._

_"You're the reason I'm dead...you killed me son."_

Stiles eyes shot open instantly. His father's words echoing loudly in his mind. Stiles looked around, taking his surroundings.

He wasn't in his home. Why was he here? Where was he?

Slowly he sat up, noticing the silence of the home. How did he get here?

_Is_ _it_ _really_ _important_? His mind supplied, no it wasn't.

Stiles felt the ache in his chest...it hurt so much, the thumping of his heart kept hurting him. It was as if someone was stabbing him repeatedly. He wanted it to stop...he wanted it all to stop.

Slowly he rose from the bed he had been sleeping in. The walls seemed to be closing in on him...he could feel the stabbing happening quicker. He needed to get out of here.

He needed to go home.

That's right, go home be with his dad.

His dad was probably waiting for him. He'd probably be pissed at Stiles for being out all night.

_No, dad's dead. You killed him, remember_. Stiles breathing hitched.

Dad was dead...dad was dead.

Almost on autopilot, he walked over to the door. He saw the keys to his jeep on the dresser and picked them up as he walked down the hallway.

He needed to go.

He needed to be alone.

He didn't bother looking around to see if he recognized the place, instead he continued off to the stairs. Before he could reach downstairs he was stopped by Scott.

Scott? That was right he was at Scott's studying with him, Danny, Lydia and Allison.

_No, that was the lie you told dad. You let him die believing your dumbass lie._ He lied to his dad...and now he couldn't ask for his forgiveness.

"Hey Stiles...you alright?" He heard Scott say but his voice sounded to far away.

Stiles looked over to the boy, seeing him flinch.

_See even he's afraid you're going to kill him too. Probably are because you always kill everyone who love us_. Stiles couldn't help but cringe inwardly.

His own best friend was afraid of him. He didn't want to cause Scott anymore discomfort.

"Yeah...just need air..." He murmured as he walked down the stairs passing the boy along the way.

He needed to get out...go home so no one would deal with him. They didn't want him around so he would just go.

"Alright...I'll come with you..." He heard Scott suggest.

Stiles didn't reply. Scott didn't want to be with him. He was trying to be nice to him...why would he be nice to someone who killed their father. He was a murderer...he killed his dad and now everyone was afraid of him.

"Just wanna be alone..."

"But..."

"I'll be right outside." He insisted as he gripped the door knob.

He needed to get out now. He waited a moment before Scott spoke again.

"Alright...just don't stay out long ok?"

_See he doesn't want to be anywhere near you_. The voice sneered within his mind.

Stiles continued out the house, not sure if he had really convinced Scott to leave him alone but he wasn't going to wait around to find out. He walked toward his jeep, and followed his routine.

He started the jeep and drove off as if nothing had happened at all. Driving toward his house, almost zombie like.

He didn't realize that he was home right away, he wasn't even aware of his surroundings. All he knew was he was home.

He walked up to the front door.

It felt odd...it felt as if...it wasn't his home anymore.

His throat felt dry as he swallowed the lump that started forming as he unlocked the front door. The house was pitch dark once he entered. It was silent. There was nothing. Stiles felt nothing.

He turned on the lights in the hallway, living room and kitchen. His heart thumped unsteadily as he looked around each room. He could picture his dad everywhere.

The lazy chair that was placed by the couch facing the tv. His dad would always sit there every time there was a baseball game on. He'd scream at the tv, yell at the umpires for making the wrong call. Stiles breathing felt shallow for a moment.

He moved on toward the kitchen. They didn't do dinners or anything really. Breakfast was quick. Stiles would grab a pop tart and leave quickly, always running late while his dad drank coffee before leaving too. Dinners were rare, unless his dad was home and not working the graveyard shift.

The kitchen table was littered with his father's police cases...cases that were no longer his concern. A small whimper escaped Stiles as he trudged up the stairs, flicking on the light in the upstairs hallway.

He was going to his room when he caught his dad's door. His heartbeat sped up a bit.

Maybe he had dreamt all this.

Maybe his dad was in there asleep right now.

Yeah, that had to be it.

Quickly he went over to the door, tripping over the rug. He pushed the door open, not bothering to knock.

"Dad?" He called out.

He had expected to see his father asleep on the bed. Grumbling at him for waking him up earlier than was necessary but he wasn't there.

The bed was still made, hadn't been slept on. The room was dimly lit by the moon that was giving little glow through the clouds. Stiles stepped in, letting his hand feel around the wall until he found the switch, flicking the lights on.

The room was empty.

_You're pathetic. Get out of denial...you killed him_. The voice hissed.

He shook his head, trying to rid the voice away...trying to get away from the truth.

He didn't even realize he was walking until he reached the nightstand. Beside the small lamp was a small framed photo. Stiles slowly picked up the picture. He didn't bother fighting the tears that spilled.

He sat on the bed and sobbed as he clutched the photo close to his chest.

It was an old photo of him when he was younger with both his dad and his mom.

 

_~The beeping of the monitor was irritating him but he kept his smile, he'd be happy for mom. He kept talking about how at school he and Scott had caught a frog during recess and how he wanted to keep it so Scott thought it'd be ok if he brought it inside the classroom. His mom laughed at her son's antic._

_She encouraged him to continue his story as she readjusted her self on the hospital bed. Stiles continued on saying that the frog jumped out of his hands and jumped onto Ms. Jameson's desk and that the woman shrieked. Then the frog jumped from there to another desk causing all the girls to scream while everyone else tried to catch it._

_"Oh baby, you are a handful. I hope you apologized to Ms. Jameson." Mrs. Stilinski remind the boy and he looked away sheepishly._

_"Mooomm." He whined earning him small tap upside the head._

_"You apologize to her tomorrow Gwydion." The boy pouted, he hated when his parents used his real name._

_"Fine...I'll say sorry tomorrow." He grumbled, he knew better than to argue with his mom when she pulled out his real name._

_They kept talking about what Stiles had learned in school and what he wanted to do over the weekend. This was a daily thing for the pair, they had been doing this for the last three months._

_"Momma...when are you coming home?" Stiles asked as he looked at the needle on her hand._

_"Soon baby...real soon. Doctor said I'm getting better." She gave him a sweet smile, making him smile too._

_"So we can go to the beach this summer? Can we go hiking and camping too?" He asked getting excited with each growing second._

_"Of course...everything you want sweetie. We'll even get dad to get a vacation." She winked at him as the door of the room opened._

_Stiles turned to see a curly haired woman enter, he recognized the nurse as Scott's mom. She smiled at the pair as she went to check his mom's charts._

_"Stiles, sweetie why don't you go and get yourself a treat from the vending machine." Mrs. McCall suggested as she offered him a dollar._

_Stiles looked over to his mom and she nodded at him to go. He thanked the woman and quickly dashed away. Once reaching the machine he looked at what he wanted. He saw all the colorful packages, everything calling his attention._

_He should get skittles, they were his favorite. He inserted the money and was about to push the buttons for his candy but stopped. He saw the orange packing of the Reese. That was his mom's favorite._

_He should get that, to make her happy._

_He waited as the machine dispensed the candy and ran back to her room. He was about to open the door when he heard the voices._

_"The treatment isn't taking anymore, at this point there's nothing we can do."_

_"How long would I still have?"_

_"Maybe weeks...months. It's spread through your blood...there's no guarantee on how long you have."_

_"Can you call my husband...we need to talk about..."_

_"Of course."_

_Stiles jumped away from the door as it opened. He looked up to the doctor and mrs. McCall before running in to climb the bed next to his mom._

_"Please don't go..." He sobbed as he hugged her. "I promise I'll be good. I promise not to get in trouble at school. I promise to do my chores at home. Please mom don't go." He cried._

_"Shhh, baby it's ok. I'm sorry baby I'm so sorry." She stroked his head, letting her fingers run through his long hair._

_"I'm sorry mom...it's my fault...if I didn't make you go then you wouldn't have gotten sick." They had gone to the mountains over Christmas break a year ago._

_Stiles kept bugging and bugging how Jackson's family always went and how if he planned to win Lydia he had to go. That it'd be a fun family vacation. That he was only 10 once and he hadn't even seen snow._

_They caved and went out for the break._

_It was really boring since the storm didn't allow for the to leave the lodge they were staying at but he had fun with his parents._

_Shortly after his mom started getting sick, ever since they came back from the trip._

_It was Stiles' fault._

_"Sweetie, it wasn't your fault. This...sickness...wasn't anyone's fault ok. Look I'm still here, I'll be fine. I'm strong remember. Besides I have you and you keep me strong." Stiles sniffled as he looked up at his mom._

_"Promise?" He croaked._

_"I promise." She smiled at him, kissing his forehead._

_"Baby can you promise me something?" Stiles nodded as he wiped away his tears. "Can you watch out for your dad?" Stiles' heart stopped. "I know I shouldn't be asking you to do this...you're only 11..."_

_"I'm almost 12." He mumbled as he squirmed a bit._

_"Right...my little man's getting bigger. So can you take on this job?" She smiled at him. Stiles shrugged not sure if he could agree. "Can you watch out for your dad? You know make sure he eats right and all that...while I'm here?" She asked._

_Stiles blinked as he looked at his mom. He could see the purple bruising under her eyes, her face looked thinner. She looked older too, but she was still mom. He would always be mom._

_"Yeah mom...I promise I'll take care of dad for you." He leaned in to curl around her._

_"Thank you baby." She kissed the top of his head. "Everything will be ok...I love you sweetie...I'll never leave you."~_

 

"I'm sorry mom." Stiles cried out as he dropped the picture on the bed.

He needed to get out of there. His breathing was raspy, he was suffocating. He needed to breathe...he couldn't breathe.

He stumbled into the bathroom, clutching the sink as he dropped his head, trying to breathe. He gulped harshly trying to breathe but nothing was helping.

His finger shakily opened the faucet and he splashed some water on his face. He scrubbed his face as more choked off sobs escaped him.

He looked up to see his reflection.

His hair was sticking at odd angles. His eyes were red and his face was paler than usual. But he didn't care how he looked...he was shocked to see the boy looking back at him.

His reflection was him sneering back.

_"You let mom down. You broke her promise. You killed dad too."_

"Shut up." Stiles closed his eyes

_"You were always such a disappointment that's why dad drank."_

"Shut up!" He shook his head violently.

" _You killed him! It's all your fault! Who's going to be next? Scott? Lydia?...Derek?"_

"SHUT UP!" He shouted.

He didn't even realize what he was doing. He brought a fist up making contact with the mirror. He heard the loud crack and gasped in shock.

The mirror cracked, causing a spider web effect but he could still see his reflection.

It was laughing at him.

He kept punching.

_**"Pathetic"** _

_Crack._

_**"Weak."** _

_Thud._

_**"Useless."** _

_Clink._

_**"You killed him."** _

_Crack._

_**"Dad's gone."** _

_Clink._

_**"It's all your fault."** _

_Crack._

**_"You should've died instead_." **

Stiles cried out as he slammed his fist into the mirror one last time.

The shards of glass clinking down into the sink. Stiles stumbled back, crashing into the door as he let a loud wrenching sob.

He couldn't feel anything.

The throbbing of his hand felt numb. The shards of glass embedded in his hand didn't bother him. He could feel the blood running down his hand. He also saw the blood where the mirror used to be running down.

He didn't care he hurt himself...he wanted to hurt.

_Make it stop...make it all stop._

He stumbled out of the bathroom and into his room. He stopped and something came over him. He didn't want any of this...he wanted all this gone. He wanted his dad not all of this.

He went to his desk grabbing his laptop and slamming it to the ground, shattering it. He shoved the printer, breaking into pieces. He threw all the contents of his desk to the floor, glass shatter on impact. He clawed at the posters that hung around, throwing the pictures on his headboard up against the wall not caring if he got hurt.

It wasn't enough...he wanted it all gone.

He kept crying as his breathing would hic when he tried to inhale. He ran down the stairs going to the kitchen first. He grabbed one of the chairs throwing it against the window above the sink. He heard the loud crash as the glass trickled down. He went to the cabinet where his father had stored the liquor.

How many times had he snuck a bottle out from under his dad.

He grabbed the bottle of Jack, remembering how he had gotten his father drunk to get him to talk. How could he do that to him. He gripped the neck and chucked it up against the opposite wall. He grabbed another bottle and another and another.

Why wasn't this helping him?

Why wasn't he here?

Why couldn't his dad just come in and tell him to stop?

He didn't know how he still had tears in him...he wanted to die. He wanted to be with them again.

He walked into the living room and it hurt. Everything hurt.

All the pictures that were placed around the room were mocking him...reminding him of what he killed. He couldn't stand it.

He fumbled as he would grab the picture frames hanging around throwing them around, listening to the glass shattering. He grabbed anything and everything around him just throwing it anywhere. Not caring what he was doing.

He just wanted it to stop.

Stiles backed up into a corner, sobbing uncontrollably as he collapsed to the ground.

He couldn't breathe.

He couldn't breathe.

He didn't want to breathe anymore.

"Stiles." He heard a whisper causing the boy to jerk his head up to look at the voice.

He was met with red eyes slowly turning green. They were wide and in shock, but never leaving Stiles face. Derek was here...he'd know what to do.

"Stiles...you're bleeding." His voice was soft and raw. It sounded broken.

Derek took a step forward, his boots crunching against the shards on the floor. Stiles pushed back against the wall making Derek stop. The man looked hurt.

Stiles gulped another breath, feeling his chest tighten as the stabbing feeling kept persisting. He looked at Derek, he didn't want to feel this anymore.

"Derek." He choked out and the older man moved forward again.

Stiles didn't cringe but on the third step he heard more gasps causing him to push back against the wall. He was cornered but he didn't want to be there. He could vaguely see that the others had arrived at his home. He didn't want them to see him.

He didn't want anyone around he wanted to be alone.

He wanted to die.

"Leave." He managed to say but it was strangled.

"No." He heard Derek reply.

"Stiles, we want..." Stiles didn't know who said that but it was cut short when Derek growled.

Stiles shook his head, closing his eyes tightly.

He had to be alone.

He wanted to be alone.

He needed to be alone.

"Leave me alone...I want to be alone." He pleaded but again Derek didn't listen.

"No Stiles."

Something snapped inside. He felt angry. Why couldn't he listen?

"GET OUT!" He shouted but Derek didn't budge. "GET THE FUCK OUT! I WANT TO BE ALONE!" Again the man didn't say a word, just moved closer to him.

Why was he trying to get near him, if he got closer...he'd kill him too.

"Stop..." Stiles sobbed as he dropped to his knees.

"Just make it stop..." Stiles could hear others crying, the breathing getting harder as well but Stiles focused on Derek only.

"Make it stop. Please make it stop." He begged.

"I'm sorry Stiles." Derek whispered.

Stiles jumped up shoving the man. Derek stumbled back a step but kept his ground.

"He's dead...he's dead. They're all dead!" He shoved Derek again.

"Everyone I love is dead! What am I suppose to do now?! How am I suppose to..." He cried out shoving Derek. "It hurts...it hurts so much...make it stop...please make it stop."

He felt his legs give out but he didn't fall. Instead he felt himself get pulled into the alpha's arms, causing Stiles to cry into the man's shirt.

"It's my fault...dad's dead...it's my fault." Stiles kept crying out as he clutched the fabric tightly. He felt the stinging of his cut up fist but didn't care.

"No Stiles. If you need someone to blame, blame me." Stiles shook his head it was all his fault no matter what he said.

"I want to die...I want to be with them." He insisted not caring what the others were saying to him, "there's nothing left for me here! My mom, my dad...everyone's dead. What's the point of being here, I have no one left!" He sobbed as he tried pushing away from Derek but the man wouldn't move.

"You have us Stiles! You will always have us." He heard Lydia weep, her voice thick.

"How...make it stop...make it all go away..." He kept begging, "it hurts...it hurts too much. Please." Stiles nails kept biting into Derek's skin but the man showed no discomfort, almost letting Stiles abuse him.

"I know Stiles...I know it hurts...but don't push us away." Derek was begging Stiles now, "let us be there for you. Lean on us Stiles. Don't push us away." He hugged the boy tighter.

Stiles let out another sob as he clung to Derek, "don't push me away." He heard the older man mumble into his neck.

Stiles felt the others come over, but he didn't care.

He wanted it all to go away.

He wanted to feel numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so here's part two there should be one more part and then I'm done.  
> Let me know what you guys think.


	3. It'll be ok

Nothing.

He felt nothing.

The world kept going around him, but his world just stopped.

Stiles had spent the rest of the week inside the room Mrs. McCall had given him. He had no one else to watch over him now. Stiles barely spoke to anyone. He was just quiet...not even aware that the others were trying to get him to open up.

Stiles just tuned the voices out, hearing the buzzing sound.

The newly appointed—the claimed it was temporary—sheriff had visited Stiles hours after Derek had pulled him out of his home. Stiles couldn't even look at the mess he made at home. He destroyed the house. But then again he didn't want to be there anymore.

The new sheriff—it left a bitter taste in Stiles mouth—had asked him questions. Stiles couldn't remember what was being asked. He just remembered hearing Mrs. McCall say he was in shock or something along those lines.

No one bothered to ask Stiles to give a statement after that.

The news spread quickly, even making the front page in the newspaper. Seeing his dad's picture on the paper...him smiling...it hurt. Stiles felt the agony and hurt tearing at him, pulling his insides apart.

He ended up reopening the stitches on his hand after he punched the window of his room.

Mrs. McCall had rushed in to try and calm him down but all Stiles could do was cry out and fight her every step of the way. Scott had to come in and restrain him before he really did hurt Mrs. McCall.

Stiles wasn't aware of what he was doing. All he remembered was calling out for Derek. Begging Derek to make it all stop. He wanted Derek to make it all go away.

The pack would trickle in and out of Stiles room. They never stayed longer than an hour as far as Stiles could tell. They were extremely cautious on what they said around him.

They were scared that they might trigger him like Allison accidentally had once.

 

_~"Stiles?" He heard a soft voice call out._

_Stiles slowly twisted his head to see Allison sitting on the chair near the corner of his room. Scott had been sitting there earlier. Derek spent the night sitting there watching over Stiles as he slept._

_"I'm sorry if I woke you." She apologized as she stood._

_Her eyes asked if it was okay for her to move closer to him. Stiles nodded, shifting a bit to make room for her. No matter how much Stiles asked to be alone, no one would listen so he had to deal with it. He felt the small dip as the girl sat down on the bed._

_"Scott's downstairs...he's gonna bring you some lunch." She slowly let her hand rest on Stiles' arm._

_He made no motion to remove her hand. He just shifted his gaze from the girl to the window, which was still broken._

_"I'm sorry you're hurting Stiles. I wish I could do something..." Her breathing hitched a bit. "I know it hurts ok...I know how you feel Stiles. When my mom died...it hurt so much...I couldn't tell her everything I wanted to say before she died. I know that the guilt hurts but you don't have to do this alone. We all understand." Stiles tensed up immediately._

_She understood? They all understood? No one understood._

_No one could._

_He killed his dad._

_It was his fault._

_How could she even think that she knew what he was going through? He felt angry. Was this her way of trying to help?_

_He jerked his arm away from the girl's touch. He heard her sudden intake of breath as he sat up on the bed. He turned to look at her, causing her to flinch._

_"You understand? YOU UNDERSTAND?" He shouted as he stood up from the bed._

_"You don't understand anything! My dad's dead Allison! I killed him! He died not knowing the whole truth! How the hell can you understand what I'm going through?!" He demanded._

_"Stiles...I-I-I just meant..." She stuttered but Stiles wasn't hearing it._

_"You don't get it! No one gets it! I lost my dad! I lost the only person I had left! Your mom wasn't killed, she killed herself so she wouldn't be what she hunted! Your mom had a choice my dad didn't! I took that choice away from him! I'm the reason he's dead!" He stalked up to girl grabbing her arms._

_"Stiles...please..." She cried as she tried to pull away._

_"You don't know anything Allison! I'm alone! You're not! You still have your dad!" He spat back._

_He felt the tears stream down his face as he shook the girl. He heard the door slam open and a pair of arms wrapping around his chest pulling him away from the sobbing girl._

_"Stiles, stop! You need to stop!" He heard Scott shout._

_Stiles struggled against the werewolf's hold. No one understood what he was going through. He didn't expect them to get it._

_"Get out! Just get out and leave me alone!" He shouted as he let his body go._

_He collapsed on the ground, crying—he stopped caring if anyone saw him cry—begging them to leave him alone. He didn't move once he heard the door click shut. He just kept crying and crying._

_He wanted the pain to stop._

_He wanted everything to stop_. _~_

 

Stiles sighed as he remembered how he treated the girl.

A small part of him—a very small part—felt sorry for being so mean to her. But the rest of him didn't care. Ever since then the pack was extremely uncomfortable being around him.

He was a ticking time bomb. No one knew if he would start crying at some point or if he'd attack anyone near him. He was no longer predictable and that scared everyone.

A week...it took a week...a long agonizing week to get things planned.

Mrs. McCall had done everything for Stiles. She called the funeral home, made the arrangements, made everything so Stiles didn't have to. He was grateful for the woman. Everything was set for Stiles to bury his father.

The pain never stopped.

It probably never would.

He jerked his head toward the door when he heard the soft rapping on the door. He didn't answer but the door opened nonetheless. He saw the curly haired woman walk inside, dressed in all black.

She had a small smile on her face as she walked up to him.

"Stiles...how are you feeling?" She whispered as she brought her hand to push away some of the strands of hair on his forehead.

"I'm fine." He mumbled, trying hard not to move away from her.

"Look...I know you don't want..." She sighed as she brought her hand down to clasp together on her lap, "we have to get going...we need to be at the services." Her voice was apologetic.

"Do I...I don't...I don't have to talk...do I?" He asked. His voice sounded younger than he really was.

"No Stiles...no one expects you to talk. Just be there...they just want to see you." She promised and Stiles nodded.

Mrs. McCall stood up and walked over to the closet and pulled out the black suit she had gone out and bought him. She laid it out on the bed and walked over to stand in front of Stiles.

She knelt down and looked at the boy. His face was crestfallen, his eyes were red and glistening still with unshed tears. His nose was slightly red and his face was still pale and thinner than she was used to.

"Take as long as you need Stiles...there's no rush. We'll be downstairs waiting for you ok." She leaned up and kissed his forehead. Stiles just nodded as he sniffed a bit.

Mrs. McCall left Stiles alone. Giving him time and space to process what was going to happen today.

Stiles looked down at his bandaged hand, sitting on the bed not moving. He didn't want to leave the room, but he knew he had to. He sat unmoving for a long while until he finally gathered the courage to stand up and get dressed.

He walked over to the adjoining bathroom and quickly stripped out of his clothes. He didn't know who but someone from the pack went back to his home and brought back some clothes for him.

He turned on the shower and quickly washed up a bit. He wasn't even thinking about what he was doing, just letting his mind go. He stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist, going back to the bedroom to change.

He stared at the black suit waiting for him. The last time he wore a suit was to bury his mom. Now he was doing it for dad.

Stiles blinked the tears away, but some still fell as he moved to the dresser and pulled out some boxers and a black t-shirt. He numbly pulled the articles of clothing on quickly but struggled a bit as he pulled the suit on.

He buttoned the black shirt up and grabbed the tie that was suppose to go over it. He couldn't tie a tie...his dad used to do it for him.

He let more tears roll down, realizing he was going to miss out on a lot of things he should have done with his father.

His dad was never going to see him graduate high school, go to college, graduate college. He wasn't going to see him get married...have kids...he was gone.

Stiles' dad was gone.

It took him a moment to try and gain control of himself. He finished dressing and slowly looked at the vanity mirror to see his appearance.

He was dressed in all black, the slacks itched he wanted to wear jeans. The shirt was tight on him, he wanted to take it off. The shoes pinched, he wanted to wear his sneakers. The jacket felt to huge on his body. He was playing dress-up and he hated it.

He ran his hand through his slightly damp hair not bothering to do anything with it. He couldn't stall anymore, he had to go down.

He was aware that he was moving but it was almost as if he wasn't truly there. It felt like he was looking into a screen, like it wasn't his life.

He wanted to disappear.

He saw Scott, Mrs. McCall and Isaac waiting for him by the door. Both werewolves were dressed in all black.

There was no hiding it...this was it.

 

Derek sighed as he rubbed his hand against his stubble cheek. He was waiting for Cora to come down. The girl was still getting ready for the services. Peter had left already, offering to drive Mrs. McCall so she could keep an eye out on Stiles.

Derek was glad the woman had stepped up for Stiles. She seemed to know what the boy needed, she knew when he had to break down and how to console him. Derek felt out of place whenever he would stay with the boy.

Derek had been spending every night watching over Stiles. As creepy as people thought it was for him to watch Stiles sleep, he knew the boy needed him there. He had spent some afternoons with the boy too but it hurt to stare at Stiles while he had his blank face.

He also assisted Mrs. McCall with all the preparations for today. It was too much work for the woman to do on her own and she still had to work at the hospital. The world hadn't stopped because the sheriff died.

That was another reason he stayed the nights with Stiles.

Cora would tag along some nights as well. He'd sit in the chair watching Stiles from a far, while Cora would lay on the bed with him. Stiles would cuddle with her as she would help lull him to sleep.

Cora and Stiles relationship before was strange to begin with. They would snark at each other and push each others buttons but he never thought the two would grow as close as they were at the moment.

The first night watching over Stiles was hell on everyone.

It was the first and last time the pack stayed the night with Stiles.

 

_~Derek knocked on the door waiting for either Scott or Mrs. McCall to open the door. He considered ringing the doorbell but he didn't want to wake Stiles if he was asleep._

_The boy needed sleep._

_The door opened and he saw Mrs. McCall. She looked exhausted but she insisted on doing everything._

_"Hello Derek, come on in." She motioned with her hand as she opened the door wider._

_Derek stepped into the home and offered the woman a small smile. She shut the door and walked toward her kitchen, Derek following her._

_"Want something to drink?" She offered as she poured herself a cup of coffee but Derek shook his head._

_"How is he?" He asked as they both sat down at the table._

_She sighed as she gripped her mug. She looked at the drink, her eyebrows furrowing a bit as she concentrated hard on the drink._

_"Like expected...he's devastated. He doesn't want to eat anything...not that I blame him. He's just in the room...staring off into nothing. He reopened his stitches this morning." She informs the man._

_Derek looks at the woman, bringing one eyebrow up asking why and how that happened. She inches her chin to the newspaper on the table, telling Derek to look at it. He hadn't seen today's paper, he had been busy with everything else going around him. He saw the headlines and the picture and quickly tosses the paper away._

_Of course the town would be this insensitive and publicize the sheriff's death like this without caring what it might do for the boy._

_"He saw the paper...and you can guess how he reacted." She finished as she sipped her coffee._

_"How are you doing?" He asked, he could see the woman was running on little sleep and caffeine at the moment._

_She shook her head, "I'm fine...I volunteered to do everything for Stiles this morning. Mrs. Richards offered to plan the sheriff's funeral but I know the woman...she'd make a big thing out of it...and I know it's not what Stiles would want." Derek nodded, the best person to do this for Stiles was her._

_"If you need help...I'll gladly do that. I'll help anyway I can. So will Peter." Derek added, his uncle hadn't shown up to the McCall residence out of respect to the woman._

_She smiled softly at him, "thank you Derek...I'm sure I will need some help." She placed the mug down and looked at the man before her._

_"Mrs. McCall?" He asked and she gave him a sad smile._

_"Child services are coming in tomorrow. They asked to talk to me since I am caring for Stiles. They had already contacted me and Isaac went through a similar situation. In Isaac's case, he had no other known relatives we could have contacted, which is why he was placed in foster homes...why he's with you." Derek nodded but didn't interrupt the woman. "Stiles is still a minor and he could file for emancipation but with his sudden reactions...how he keeps claiming that his dad's still alive. No judge will grant him emancipation, they'll claim he's not mentally stable to be on his own."_

_"So what does this mean for Stiles?" He had to ask but he knew the answer already._

_"They've been trying to locate his aunt. John's younger sister Katarzyna, if they find her...she would take custody of Stiles." She let a small tear run down her cheek. He was like another son for her._

_"If...if they don't...what will happen then?" Derek asked. They would find the woman, he_ _didn't know when but they would._

_"If they don't...he'll be treated like any other orphan. He'd be placed in the system and someone will probably be his foster parents until he turns 18." She answered and looked at him, "I'm trying to get my papers pushed through...just in case...but I figured I should let you know in case..." She doesn't finish._

_"Would services allow me to take in another teenager?" Derek asked._

_"I don't know Derek. You still have Isaac, and now Cora's your responsibility too. If you submitted the forms they might throw it out, you live off the insurance money and live in a loft with one bedroom. They'd probably say it's not the best living environment for Stiles."_

_"But he'd be here with us." He mumbled, he knew it'd be a long shot._

_"I know...but no one knows the truth." She reminds as she stands up, wiping away the tear, "I have to go in to work. We'll talk more later ok?" Derek nods as he stands as well._

_They both walk together to the front of the house. Mrs. McCall hugs Derek and asks him to take care of Stiles, that he'd know what to do before leaving the home._

_Derek quietly walked up the stairs, listening to the soft steady beats of the occupants in Stiles room. He quietly opens the door to see Stiles on the bed, his eyes shut as his chest rises a bit with each steady breath he takes._

_Derek drops his gaze to the ground to see the betas all curled around each other asleep as well. Derek sees Scott open his eyes and slowly untangle himself from the group._

_"Hey...what took you so long?" Scott asks in the softest voice possible in order for him not to wake Stiles._

_"Was talking to you're mom...about the situation." He murmured back as he let his gaze settle on the sleeping boy._

_"Oh...did she tell you anything?"_

_"We're still discussing...right now we can't decide anything." Derek hated to admit that he might not be able to do anything._

_"The new sheriff came by..." Scott begins and Derek snaps his head to look at the beta. "He wanted to ask Stiles questions...like why he was out there with his dad...what had happened at his house...the blood." He mumbled as he shuffled his feet a bit._

_Derek wasn't able to clean up the blood or destruction Stiles had done at his home. All the noise he made caused his neighbors to call the police. When Derek finally got Stiles to calm down the police and paramedics were on the scene so everyone saw Stiles' emotional break down._

_"He couldn't wait a couple of days?" Derek grumbled._

_He had already met the new sheriff—he claimed to be in temporary position—the man had gone to his loft and interrogated him. Sheriff James Bennett, the man didn't deserve the title._

_He was trying to pin the Sheriff's...Mr. Stilinski...his death on Derek._

_The man claimed that Derek was on scene where the body was but there wasn't any proof. That didn't matter though, now the new sheriff had his eyes trained on Derek, making it harder for him to come and see Stiles._

_"Nope...guess he wants to get elected. He's an asshole." Scott scoffed as he rubbed his arms. "Stiles kept asking for you..." He admits._

_Derek didn't know what to say. Was Stiles calling for him to blame him? Tell him it was his fault? Did he want to hurt Derek? He would let the boy hurt him if necessary, he didn't care._

_"He kept asking you to make it go away...he was begging." Scott chokes up a bit, "I don't think he knew he was calling for you."_

_"He probably doesn't..." Derek admits, ignoring the throb in his chest._

_"What does he mean?...when he asks for it...to make it go away." Scott asked as he looked over to Stiles._

_"He's talking about the pain...the guilt...the anger...the sadness...everything. His emotions are piled together right now. He doesn't know what to do. It's the worse feeling in the world...he's losing control of himself..." Derek answers as he moves a little closer to the window instead of the boy. "Humans can have anchors too, Scott. Someone to remind you of who you are. Stiles lost his...his dad was all he had. Without him he feels lost...numb...weak...alone. He doesn't know who he can lean on...he's running on fear that he'll lose that person if he lets them in. He doesn't know how to cope. His body keeps fighting him...so he lashes out...he lets the pain in...he cries it out." Derek looks over to see Scott, the boy hides his face, trying to hide the tears threatening to spill._

_"You went through this?" Scott's voice sounds watery._

_"Yes." Derek gruffly answers and he takes a shaky breathe. "So did Cora and Peter. We were lost and broken...I had Laura but the guilt I carried didn't let me accept the help she offered. I didn't let her be my anchor."_

_"You said your anchor was anger..." Scott adds._

_"It was...but not anymore." He admits._

_"Then what's..." Scott stops, he doesn't finish his question._

_Derek keeps his gaze on Stiles. His anchor had shifted the moment Stiles held him afloat in the pool for two hours. The boy risked his life for him...for someone who wasn't even human. He knew his anchor was shifting to loyalty...Stiles loyalty and trust. But now he was scared. When Stiles awoke, would the boy hate him? Would he push Derek away?_

_That's why he avoided find a person to be his anchor, they could always leave._

_"Stiles will be ok..right?" Scott wanted to believe Stiles will be ok...he had to be._

_"I don't know..." Derek was telling the boy the truth. He didn't know._

_Both Scott's and Derek's attention focused on the sleeping boy. He shifted in his sleep mumbling incoherently, twisting on the bed. The movements woke up the other wolves who noticed the change._

_Without warning Stiles started screaming and thrashing causing everyone to wake up. Derek ran over to the boy trying to shake the boy awake. Night terrors, he was having night terrors._

_"What's happening?" Lydia demanded as she clutched Danny's hand._

_"Night terrors." Cora answered as she ran to Stiles other side, "Stiles, wake up. It's not real. It's not real." She insisted as she held the boy's arm down._

_Stiles kept screaming trying to fight both Derek and Cora._

_He kept kicking and tugging the restraints and he let out scream after scream, then letting out a heart wrenching sob._

_"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Stiles cried out as he fought._

_"Everyone get out." Derek ordered, no one moved. "GO!" He shouted as he and Cora pulled Stiles up to sit._

_Derek heard protest but left the room. Derek brought Stiles to his chest, letting the boy listen to his heartbeat._

_"It's ok Stiles...you're ok...you're not alone." He whispered into the boy's ear._

_Laura used to do this for him when he had nightmares of the fire. He'd let his sister try and comfort him when he would suffer from the reminder that he was the reason his family was gone._

_Cora wrapped her arms around the boy too. She looked up at Derek with understanding eyes. They would try to keep the boy rooted. Stiles sobs slowed into small little whimpers and hics but he didn't fight the embrace._

_Cora and Derek kept whispering to him, reassuring him that everything would be alright._

_That he wasn't alone.~_

 

Since that night everyone decided over night visits with Stiles wasn't a good idea. They had never come across a night terror and they didn't think they would be able to handle it again.

Stiles would have a night terror almost every night and Derek and Cora would be right there to wake him up. Derek could feel the embarrassment coming from Stiles but he told the boy it was fine...it was normal.

Derek also had long conversations with Mrs. McCall over Stiles' living arrangement. Services had located his aunt, they had informed her about what had happened and what the situation was.

Derek was glad that Stiles had another living family member but that happiness was short lived.

Mrs. McCall explained to him that the woman lived in Connecticut. She would be taking Stiles away...he'd be 3,000 miles away. Derek didn't want Stiles to go...the entire pack was against it.

There had to be another way.

Derek felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He stood up from where he was sitting on the couch and fished out the phone.

_Jennifer._

Derek ignore the call, putting his phone back in his pocket. He hadn't talked to the woman the entire week. She persistently called but he never bother answering. She had tried once to come see him in the loft but he never bothered to open the door.

He was acting like jerk, he knew it but...he couldn't keep seeing her.

"What are we? In high school?" He heard Cora scoff as she came down the stairs.

Derek rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms to look at the girl.

"You ready?" He asked and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Are we seriously ignoring the problem until it goes away?" She smirked a little. "Who do we sound like?"

"Cora..."

"Sorry big brother but you're going to listen to little ole me." She pointed an accusatory finger at him, "you're avoiding her. I don't get what happened but I know you. Why are you ignoring Jennifer?"

"This is not the time..." He insisted as he moved away toward the doorway.

"We'll make time!" She grabbed his arm pulling him back. "You were making progress Der...you were happier than I've seen. I know it's selfish of me to be acting like a spoiled little brat throwing a tantrum but I wanna know what happened. I thought you liked her."

"I do like her..." He admits and Cora throws her hands up.

"Then what's the problem?! You like her, she likes you. What the hell is going on in your head that you wanna push her away?" She was trying to understand what her brother was thinking.

"That's it Cora...I just like her." He looked at her, the girl didn't understand. "I can't feel anything past that."

"Oh." There was silence between the siblings.

Cora bit her lip lightly as she cocked her head to the side slightly before she spoke.

"Is it because...there's someone else?" She was careful with her words.

Derek looked at her, wide eyed. There was someone else but now...now wasn't the time. It was beyond inappropriate to even consider trying something. Guess he wasn't as secretive as he thought he was.

"So there is." Cora mused when he didn't answer.

"I...."

"Look Derek...I don't care ok. I don't care if it's Jennifer...or someone else. I just want you to be happy." She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you Der, and you deserve to be happy...if that person makes you happy...be with them." Derek hugged the girl back, kissing the top of her head.

"Are you trying to tell me something Cor?" He let a small smile touch his lips.

"Yeah...I'm trying to be nice and tell you to get your head outta your ass and grow a pair." She giggled as she shoved him.

"Way to kill the moment." He grumbled but he still had the small smile.

"I know." She beamed, "I work really hard on doing that."

Cora adjusted her dress and walked over to open the door. She tapped her foot impatiently as Derek grabbed his keys and walked after.

"Come on...let's be there for your boy." She smiled as she dashed down.

He did not blush.

He repeats he did not blush.

 

The service is just like Stiles remembered when they did it for his mom. The same minister that preformed the sermon for her funeral did his dad's.

The small church had filled up, almost everyone in town had come to show their respects for him. Stiles dreaded being there. He had to keep his face blank as person after person after person came and offered their condolences.

Stiles would thank them in a soft, monotone voice.

Stiles sat up front with Mrs. McCall, Scott and to his surprise Peter. Stiles didn't know if maybe Mrs. McCall and Peter were something again but he didn't seem to care.

A few pews back the rest of the pack sat together. Isaac and Boyd both had stoic faces, keeping watch of everyone. Guard dogs...they were his guard dogs.

Lydia sat sandwiched between Danny and to his surprise Jackson. Stiles vaguely remembered Scott telling him that Jackson was coming back...to show his support. Stiles didn't know if it was true or not but he didn't care for the reasons the beta decided to come back.

Allison and her father sat on the opposite side of where Stiles was situated. The girl had approached Stiles but he was too numb to acknowledge anything anymore. He remembered Ms. Blake sitting with the Argents but he didn't remember talking to the woman either.

"Derek's here." Scott murmured to Stiles.

The boy just nodded but didn't turn to see the man. He was scared that if he saw Derek he'd break and start crying again. He needed to be strong...he didn't want the whole town to see him broken.

He brought his gaze to look at the casket that was placed in the center. There were wreaths and flowers placed around the casket and mantel with his father's picture. It took Stiles almost five minutes to muster the courage to walk up and see his dad.

He didn't even reach the casket, demanding that they keep it closed. He didn't want to see his dad like that.

He was in and out during the ceremony. His dad's best friend did an eulogy along with some of his friends in the work force. But Stiles didn't go up.

Reverend Mitchell looked at him expectantly, hoping that he'd come up and say goodbye to his father but he couldn't. He didn't want to.

He felt Mrs. McCall hold his hand throughout the whole thing. He let her guide him toward the cemetery. He avoided making eye contact with everyone. He could hear the soft whispers of how beautiful the sermon was...how it was so sad the man passed away.

He was killed...there was no passing...he was murdered.

Stiles half expected the media to be out there like they had been when Kate Argent was buried. He really didn't want to deal with that. That's why he want to avoid the entire thing.

Mrs. McCall pulled him in close to her while Peter took his other side, almost shielding him from the flashing of cameras. Stiles could have sworn he heard a growl but didn't know from who.

The moved across the grass, walking toward where his mom was laid to rest. Now they'd be together.

They'd always be together.

There were seats placed on one side of the open grave. Stiles felt his chest tighten as he grew closer. This was really happening. He felt Peter give him a small squeeze on his shoulder. The man must've heard his heart.

Even though he was creepy, Peter was being good to Stiles. He was kind of glad the man was around.

They moved to sit in the front row again, Stiles fidget a bit when he saw his mother's headstone. Beside her's was his dad's headstone.

He balled his hands into fists, not caring that he was pulling the stitches again.

Like before Scott sat on one side of him and Mrs. McCall on the other. The rest of the pack gathered around giving Stiles a small squeeze on his shoulder as they passed him. Stiles closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing. He didn't want to have a panic attack.

The area was soon filled with the bodies of the attendees at church. Moments after the casket arrived, being carried by the police force. He felt both Mrs. McCall and Scott grab his hand and held both tightly.

He was barely listening to what was being said...he knew what was being said...it was déjà vu.

 

_~Stiles slowly walked up the steps. His dad had been in his room the entire night but he had to get up. They had to say bye to mom. He pushed the door quietly to see the man on the bed. He noticed that there was a bottle beside his dad's bed._

_"_ _Dad?" Stiles whispered as he walked in._

_"Yeah?" He gruffly answered but didn't move._

_"You gotta get up...we have to..." Stiles sniffed as he shook his dad's shoulder._

_"I know...I just want to stay here for a bit." He turned to look at his son._

_Stiles was already dressed, Ms. Jane had been kind enough to pick up Stiles' suit from the cleaners. Stiles had also gotten his head shaved down, now he had a buzz cut. His dad didn't yell at Stiles for shaving his head. He understood that Stiles wanted to do something...something to remind him of his mom._

_"Come here son." Stiles crawled into bed and hugged his dad, crying against his chest._

_"Why did she have to go?" Stiles asked._

_"I don't know...but remember she's watching over us now. She wouldn't be happy if she saw what we were doing." His dad realized as he moved a bit to sit up, shift Stiles as well._

_"It's not fair."_

_"Life isn't fair...but we have to make the best of it. It's just us now Gwydion." Stiles tensed._

_Dad used his first name. She was the last person to say his name. Now she was gone. What if his dad died next? What was he going to do?_

_His breathing got shorter and shorter getting to the point that his chest was hurting._

_He couldn't breathe._

_"Son...breathe with me. Deep breaths son." He exaggerated his own breathing, "in and out." Stiles nodded as he mimicked his dad._

_"S-s-sorry." Stiles apologized. His dad pulled him in hugging the boy tightly._

_"Never apologize for that. It's ok...just...what happened?" He asked as he looked at his son's face._

_"Y-y-you...s-said...m-my name." He stuttered out, "s-s-she...w-w-was the la-ast...to s-say it." He gulped._

_"I'm sorry...I should've had known. I'm sorry Stiles. I'm so sorry."_

_"Don't leave me." Stiles cried as he moved his face to rest up against his neck._

_"I won't leave you." His dad ran a hand against his short hair._

_"I promise."~_

 

Stiles couldn't take it anymore.

They were about to start lowering the casket when stiles stood up. He ignored the looks everyone gave him. He ignored the people calling his name. He just had to go.

He couldn't watch this.

He moved away, walking further into the cemetery...put as much distance as possible between him and his parents.

He failed his mom.

He failed his dad.

He was a failure of a son.

 

Derek chose to keep some distance between himself and Stiles. He figured the boy would need some distance right now. Besides Scott was there attending to his every need. Mrs. McCall was there as well so Stiles was in good hands.

Cora guided him to sit near the betas in the church. He tried to ignore the looks and stares he received as he walked in with his sister. Everyone was still suspicious of him, with good reason if he was being truthful.

Derek caught Scott tell Stiles he was there but the boy didn't make a motion to look for him. Derek felt a little hurt but he understood, Stiles was trying to keep it together.

Derek glanced around, seeing many unfamiliar faces. He was pretty sure the majority of the people who were here weren't here out of respect, they just wanted the gossip.

Derek's eyes stopped when he caught Jennifer's gaze. She was sitting beside Allison on the other side of the church. She gave him a small smile, but he didn't return it. He looked away, staring at the front of the church.

Cora slipped her hand to grab Derek's, giving him a small squeeze.

The services were how he had expected them to go. It came as no surprise when Stiles refused to go up. How could they expect him to go up there and say goodbye to his father?

The fact that Stiles was out here should be enough.

Derek kept an eye out for Stiles' aunt as well. She had told Mrs. McCall she would try and attend her brother's funeral but she wasn't sure. The woman didn't want to be here and she definitely didn't want to care for her only nephew.

Derek let Cora go with Isaac and Boyd as the ceremony ended. He stayed behind as the pack moved with Stiles, going to his father's final resting place.

This was all too surreal for Derek. He never expected for this to have happened to anyone. Stiles' dad was really gone and Stiles was all alone now.

He could only imagine what Stiles was going through.

He walked out of the church, hearing the rumors circling about the sheriff's death, about Stiles' psychotic breakdown—that had him growling—and about him being involved in the death. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Jennifer waiting down the steps of the church.

"Hey Derek." She softly spoke. Derek nodded at her as he walked down the steps reaching her.

"Jennifer." He greeted back.

"I haven't seen you in a while."

"Been busy."

"With Stiles?"

"Yes."

"How is he?" She genuinely sounded concern for the boy. He didn't doubt that, she had always cared about the teens.

"His surviving." He bluntly told her, he wasn't going to lie to her.

They walked in step with each other as they followed all the others to the cemetery. He saw as both Peter and Mrs. McCall shielded the boy as the photographers snapped away. Derek couldn't help the low deep growl that escaped him startling Jennifer and the others around him. No one connected the growl to him but the photographers stopped immediately after.

"Derek...can we talk?" Jennifer asked as the walked over to the rest of the group.

"There's nothing left to talk about Jennifer." He stopped to look at the woman.

He half expected her to start crying, begging him not to end whatever they had. But she didn't. She nodded understandingly.

"Guess you're right..." She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. She gave him a warm smile before moving away. "Just be happy Derek."

Derek watched as the woman continued off toward the group. He was making the right decision, he couldn't hurt her anymore.

He walked up and stood away from the pack, they had all sat either beside or behind Stiles. Jackson's appearance was a surprise to him when Lydia had mentioned it Wednesday night. She had been keeping him updated on current events and despite being an asshole to Stiles over the years, he came back. Maybe Jackson had changed his ways, only time could tell.

Derek kept his eyes trained on Stiles, listening to uptakes of his heartbeat. Everything was going smoothly until he heard the rapid thumps of Stiles' heartbeat. Stiles stood up without a word and took off in the opposite direction.

He left before they could lower the casket.

"Stay put." Derek ordered in a low voice for only the wolves to hear as he followed the boy.

He ignored all the stares and whispers as he followed the boy. He knew that rumors would start, even more suspicion about possible involvement but he didn't care.

Stiles needed him.

Stiles stopped in front of another headstone, just stood there staring. Slowly Derek approached the boy, careful to not startle him.

 

Stiles walked off, letting his feet take him to a destination he hadn't thought about. He stop once he reached the grave site.

His heart clenched as he looked down at the headstone.

_Erica Reyes_

_Loving Daughter, Sister, Friend_

_1995-2011_

She died because of Deucalion.

He killed an innocent girl who still had her whole life to live because he wanted Derek to kill Scott. He wanted Derek to join his stupid pack. He killed his dad to give them a message. He destroyed everything because he didn't get what he wanted.

Stiles wanted to kill Deucalion...he wanted to kill them all.

He heard footsteps grow closer to him but he didn't move away. Stiles knew it was Derek.

It was always Derek.

"Hey creeper wolf." Stiles let a small smirk play on his lips.

"Stiles." He heard the older man answer.

"You on Stiles duty?"

"Yup."

"How's that going for you?"

"Good."

"We back to one word answers?" Stiles asked, trying to be teasing but it didn't feel comfortable. Derek didn't answer.

"He's gone..." Stiles sighed as he turned his body to look at Derek.

"He is."

"I want them dead Derek. I want Deucalion dead." He looked up to Derek's eyes.

He could see the emotions he was struggling to hold back. He knew Derek wanted them dead too.

"It won't bring your dad back Stiles. It won't bring Erica back either." He reminds.

"I know...but I need this. He has to pay." He moved over to Derek. "They have to pay."

"And they will Stiles...I promise you that."

"Don't. Don't make me promises." He choked as he felt the tears run down, "I've dealt with too many broken promises. Don't make me a promise that you can't keep." He pleaded.

Derek moved forward to be in Stiles personal space. Stiles didn't move or flinch away from him. Derek brought his hand to curve around his neck. Stiles looked up through his watery eyes to meet Derek's intense gaze. His green eyes boring into his. He quickly dropped his gaze and focused on the man's lips instead.

"Stiles, I will keep this promise. I'm going to find them and make them pay for all they have done. You'll get justice." He swore and Stiles nodded.

He gave the alpha a watery smile as he leaned into him. Stiles let his forehead rest up against Derek's collar and moved his hands up to grip the man's jacket. Derek didn't move the hand away from the boy's neck. Instead he brought his other arm to wrap around the boy, hugging him.

Derek let the boy cry against him. He wasn't going to deny the boy anything right now. Stiles let the silent tears run.

It was over.

"Does it ever stop hurting?" Stiles asked.

"No...it doesn't." Stiles felt his heart clench, "but it gets better."

"How?"

"If you let other people in...it doesn't hurt as bad. The pain will always be there but it won't be agonizing anymore."

"Is it like that for you?"

"Yeah...it still hurts but I focus on the good. Focus on that Stiles." Stiles nodded against Derek's chest.

"My Aunt Kat didn't show did she?" Stiles was aware that she had been contacted but he knew he couldn't really count on her.

"No, but don't worry about that...we'll figure something out." Derek felt Stiles relax a bit.

"I know...I trust you." Stiles mumbled as he moved his head, letting the top of his hair tickle Derek's chin a bit.

Stiles felt at ease after a long week. For the first time he was finally starting to see little hope.

His dad was gone...but he was with his mom now.

Stiles knew it wasn't going to be easy but if he had Derek...if he had the pack. Stiles tensed a bit. He'd still have them right? They wouldn't leave him. They couldn't leave him. He gripped Derek's jacket tighter and Derek sensed the mood change.

"Stiles..." Derek started to ask but Stiles cut him off.

"Derek...don't leave me too." Stiles asked and he felt Derek tighten his hold. "Please don't leave me alone. Please."

"I'll be here...as long as you need me...I'll be here." Derek assured and Stiles nodded.

Derek wasn't going to leave him...he'd still be here for him.

Stiles closed his eyes, finally feeling like he could breathe.

The pack would be with him...Derek would be with him.

For once he finally felt like he'd be okay.

He would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I'm officially done with this story...for now. I might come back and maybe write an epilogue or something if I get inspired.  
> I didn't expect the way the story went but I'm happy with it at the moment. This really started as as all little thought that kind of ran away from me.  
> This my first story ever written so I'd appreciate the comments. Any mistakes are mine and mine alone.  
> I'll probably start working on another story soon but I have to have at least more than two chapters already written.


	4. Author's note

I’m sorry for those who have been following this story and have been patiently waiting for the epilogue. But this isn’t an update =(.

I have spent a long time just writing and the epilogue was too long at the end and it felt completely rushed and almost too time consuming to make people read. It also got me seeing that I couldn’t wrap up Stiles recovery in one chapter so I decided to break that epilogue into another story. This also lets me explore the relationships aside of Stiles and Derek.

The recovery story will be up in a couple of days and then I’ll be updating when I can. I’m currently in the process of graduating from school this year (college) so I’ll be focused more on school work but I am updating this story plus the other one I have going at the moment too. In order to avoid these author note chapters I made a tumblr account so I can notify people when I’ll be updating and also to get ideas from others too. I’m not closed minded and I love hearing what others think of certain pairs and how they differ and how similar they are to mine.

Sorry for this not chapter. =(

 

 

Link to my tumblr account is below (fyi its basically naked since I just made it and I'm getting the hang of it)

[Raawr23](http://raawr23.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so that's the first part so let me know what you guys think if I should continue or not...probably will but I'm not sure, currently working on the second part.


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